


Before, Now, Always

by mage_girl



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Awesome Sam Wilson, Bucky has loved Steve for a long time, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Multi, Phil Coulson is a boss, Steve Rogers has always loved Bucky, The Howling Commandos kick ass, Under age consensual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2285547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mage_girl/pseuds/mage_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America & Captain America: The Winter Soldier set in the A/B/O universe. Some things are familiar, some things aren't... but no matter what, it's always been Steve and Bucky. </p><p>It doesn't matter how long it's been or what's happened in the time span between their separation. Bucky's been the only one for Steve. And Steve... he's been the fixed point for Bucky ever since they met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before, when it all started...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngeNoir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/gifts).



> I was so thrilled to receive the name of my exchange person, AngeNoir! I was especially thrilled to write in the A/B/O universe. 
> 
> In my universe, an Omega male has female genitalia as well as male genitalia. They would be considered intersexed. The heat cycle triggers the lubrication (well, lots more lubrication) from the female genitalia. They can also become pregnant and carry to term but very, very carefully. Their bodies aren't equipped for an expanding fetus. With the proper medical care, most pregnancies are full term or close to full term. The babies are born either caesarean or vaginally.
> 
> There are also non binary A/B/O people in my universe and they are mentioned but I haven't written further on them. Perhaps another fic! :)  
> In this story, although there are mentions of rape and sexual assault, there's only one instance of Steve being in a bad situation. Trigger warning for underage sexual assault.
> 
> This story just grew and grew and... but I hope AngeNoir likes it. I took a lot of the preferences and put them into the story. Hopefully, I've hit upon a lot of the awesome for you!
> 
> My thanks to T for looking it over and making sure I was keeping things in their proper place. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone. I blame the lack of caffeine and the cat for distracting me. (wink)
> 
> Thanks also to the mods for putting on this awesome exchange! Much appreciated!
> 
> To my exchange person, AngeNoir: Enjoy the heck outta this!

It was bad luck to be born a weakling and an Omega. Everyone knew that a weak Omega was a dead Omega or as good as. Alphas weren’t picky when they scented an Omega during a heat cycle. Public outcry wasn’t loud enough when it came to things such as _consent_ and _assault_. Most people looked the other way, didn’t do anything but whisper behind their hands when another Omega was assaulted. It was the way of things.

When Steven Grant Rogers was born and the midwife saw the tell tale opening between his legs, she sighed. He was a blue baby, born hardly breathing but some effort from her had him fighting for life and breath. The kindest thing would have been to smother him. Quickly, efficiently, and telling his mother he’d died of oxygen deprivation.

But Steven was born at home, not at a hospital and Sarah was right there, reaching out for him as soon as he gasped his first breath and cried out, weakly. The midwife closed her eyes briefly, prayed for forgiveness, and handed Sarah her son, wrapped in a soft blue blanket.

‘Is he… is he a Beta?’ asked Sarah. She was a Beta and her husband was a Beta. He was overseas and she was working as a nurse to make ends meet. She’d worked as long as she’d dared, almost up to her due date.

‘He’s an Omega,’ said the midwife, touching Steve’s head, gently. ‘A handsome little one with the darkest bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.’

Steve gazed up at them both, his dark blue eyes intent on their faces.

‘Just look at him look at us,’ breathed Sarah. ‘He’s seeing us, isn’t he?’

The midwife looked down and smiled at Steve. ‘Babies can’t see very far at birth but he’s doing his best. Looks like you’ve got a fighter there, Sarah.’

‘I do. He’s going to be one hell of a fighter, aren’t you, Steven?’ Sarah brushed her lips over the top of his head and held him close.

The midwife busied herself with cleaning up so she didn’t have to say a word. She sent a prayer up to whomever was watching over frail infants that Steven would get an extra dose of luck. She knew he’d need it.

**

Steve knew the first rule of surviving in his world was not to piss off an Alpha. His mom had told him over and over again that Alphas were to be feared and he was to stay away from one. It didn’t matter if the Alpha was male, female or nonbinary… the response to him would be the same.

Steve knew his youth protected him from the adults. Mostly. Most of the adult Alphas wouldn’t go after a child Omega. They’d wait until the child had matured, were ready for their first heat, and then move in. But some Alphas didn’t care about age and they preferred the young Omegas. These Alphas were pointed out to others for their own protection and for the protection of their children.

Still, when he heard the cry of a young girl in an alley, he didn’t walk away like he should have, after peeking in and seeing the situation. He balled up his fists and stalked right up to the Alpha who was holding down the girl. Steve wasn’t sure if she was an Omega or a Beta but it didn’t matter. She was struggling to get away and there was a bruise blooming on her cheek already.

That was enough for Steve. He made a fist the way he was taught and punched the Alpha as hard as he could in the ribs. It distracted the Alpha enough so that he loosened his hold on the girl. She scrabbled away from him, tugging down her torn dress and gaping at Steve.

‘Go on! Get away!’ he hissed at her, backing up as the Alpha sneered at him.

‘But...’ her eyes flickered over to where the Alpha was getting ready to lay into Steve.

‘Move it, sister!’ he ordered, tensing his body as the Alpha plowed into him.

She gave a cry of distress and darted out of the alley. Steve smiled with satisfaction, then grimaced as he was backed against the hard brick wall.

‘You interrupted my fun, little boy. I’ll have to make do with you,’ said the man, his musky scent overwhelming Steve’s sense of smell.

Steve had some retorts on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say something along the lines of, ‘can’t you get an adult to do this with’ or ‘this isn’t my idea of fun’ but he couldn’t say a word as the man’s hand cupped him, roughly.

‘I’ve never been picky about boys or girls or them in betweens,’ muttered the man. ‘You all got something I can take so who cares what you are? I get what I want. You best settle down and relax and enjoy the ride.’

Steve struggled, gasping as he was pressed harder against the wall, unable to move. He grimaced as the man slipped his hand down his pants.

‘Well, well, well… what do we have here? A little O baby, just wanting a big ol’ Alpha to take care of him. I can do that, all right. I sure can,’ said the man, hooking his finger so he could try and touch Steve where nobody had ever touched him. His mother told him that his body was his own. This man was going to violate him and he couldn’t do a thing about it. Steve shook with rage and fear.

The man gave a grunt and Steve thought it was just him making a satisfied noise but then he slid off of Steve and fell down to the ground.

Steve stared wildly behind him, caught between fight or flight. He didn’t know if he was rescued or if he was in a worse situation.

He saw a boy his own age with a two by four in his hands, his face screwed up in a snarl of hatred and satisfaction.

‘Hey...’ the boy said, his voice concerned. He glanced down at the fallen Alpha and kicked him once, hard, in the ribs. He smiled when the man groaned in pain but didn’t move.

‘What are you doing?’ hissed Steve, jerking his pants up and checking to make sure everything was all right.

‘Saving your punk ass,’ replied the boy. ‘C’mon, the mook isn’t going to stay down forever, you know. Let’s get you outta here.’

Steve shrank away from him, the scent of musk still lingering in the air, adrenaline making his body shake.

‘Hey… it’ll be OK. I’m Bucky. Bucky Barnes. You saved my sister’s life. C’mon, kid. Let’s get outta here,’ the boy, Bucky, said gently. ‘It’s OK… here, take my hand. I won’t let anyone hurt you.’

Steve looked at Bucky, at his outstretched hand and his encouraging grin. He took his hand and Bucky squeezed it. ‘Good. My ma wants to meet you. Rebecca is beside herself. She wants to make sure you’re OK. Let’s go.’

Steve nodded, smiling a little bit. He held onto Bucky’s hand as they backed out of the alley, Bucky still holding onto the two by four, just in case. When they left the alley, Bucky kept holding onto Steve’s hand but he tossed the length of wood into a nearby trash bin.

‘My ma made some homemade soup. Beef and vegetable. You got an appetite for some?’ asked Bucky as they weaved their way through the people walking on the sidewalk.

‘I… I like beef and vegetable soup a lot,’ confessed Steve with a grin.

‘Super! You’ll love my ma’s. She makes the _best_ soup. That restaurant stuff doesn’t taste half as good as hers,’ bragged Bucky as they crossed another street and then were bounding up the steps of a brick apartment building.

Steve was wheezing half way up the third flight of stairs. He forgot he was supposed to be careful. He wasn’t supposed to move around too much and he wasn’t supposed to overexert himself. He flushed red with shame as he sat down on the steps, unable to move.

‘Hey… you got breathing problems?’ asked Bucky, not unkindly.

‘I was just too riled up back there,’ explained Steve. He wheezed again and shut his eyes, trying to calm down and open up his air passageways.

‘Just take your time. We aren’t in any hurry. Unless your ma needs you home, soon?’ asked Bucky.

Steve shook his head. ‘No… she works at the hospital. She’s really busy and works a lot. Has to keep things going, you know.’ He then shut his mouth and looked down. He didn’t want to talk about how poor him and his mom were. He figured it wasn’t anyone’s business but theirs and he had his pride.

Bucky just nodded his head. ‘Sure… then you can hang out for a while. Have some soup, meet my ma and my sisters. I’ll walk you home after, OK?’

Steve nodded, feeling the tightness in his chest ease. ‘Yeah… that sounds swell.’

‘Say, what’s your name? I never did ask you. Sorry,’ added Bucky, rubbing the back of his head.

‘Oh! My name’s Steve. Steve Rogers,’ introduced Steve with a bashful grin.

‘Neat. You OK to get going? We’re up on the next floor. Almost there,’ encouraged Bucky.

‘Sure. I’m all right. Let’s go,’ said Steve, getting to his feet and taking a deep breath, his smile broadening when he could breathe in easily.

Bucky stopped at the third door down from the stairway and opened it, calling, ‘Ma! I found him!’

Steve followed Bucky into the apartment, looking around curiously as he shut the door behind him.

The apartment was neat and tidy, small but clean. Steve could smell the delicious scent of soup in the air and his stomach growled. He walked into the living room, taking off his shoes at the door.

There, sitting on a thread worn couch was the young girl Steve had saved. She gasped when she saw him and stood up. ‘Are you OK? He didn’t hurt you, did he?’ she asked, clasping her hands together.

‘I’m OK. Bucky came and helped me out,’ reassured Steve, smiling at her.

‘I was so scared! I ran back here and got Bucky as fast as I could. I told him where you were… I hope he found you in time,’ she said, her dark blue eyes anxiously looking over Steve’s face and body.

‘He did. I’m not hurt… see?’ said Steve, holding out his arms and turning around for her benefit.

‘I’m so glad. Thank you… thank you for helping me,’ she said.

‘Yes, thank you for saving my daughter,’ said a warm, soft voice and Steve turned around to see Bucky’s mom standing there, an apron around her waist and her hands held out in welcome.

Steve looked at her, wanting to remember her face so he could sketch her later on. She had the same dark hair as Bucky but her eyes were a hazel green-blue instead of dark blue like Bucky and his sister. Her hair was braided and wound into a bun, neatly pinned to the back of her head. Steve wasn’t sure what colour her apron was or her clothes since his colour blindness made identifying colours difficult but he guessed they were greens and blues.

‘You’re welcome, ma’am… it was something anyone should do,’ replied Steve.

Bucky’s mom frowned. ‘Most people would have walked on by. Even though this was a child being assaulted. No one puts a collar on Alphas. No one stops them from doing what they want to do. That’s why we need those Safe houses. So Omegas can go through a heat without being hurt, without doing something they wouldn’t want to do, otherwise. It’s not right.’

Steve smiled at her, delightedly. Here was someone whom he could relate to. ‘I agree. I hope there comes a day where Alphas have to behave. I don’t know if I’ll ever see it but I hope one day my children do.’

Bucky’s mom nodded approvingly. ‘Have you eaten dinner yet?’

‘No, ma’am. I was headed towards home when I stopped in the alley… My mom saved me some cold chicken from last night,’ answered Steve.

‘Bless you, I have something that’s going to taste a lot better than cold chicken. Go on, sit at the table with Bucky and Rebecca,’ instructed Bucky’s mom.

Steve sat at the table with Bucky on his left and Rebecca on his right. Bucky’s mom went into another room and carried out a toddler in one arm and was leading another younger girl by the other hand.

She set the toddler in a high chair and the girl slid onto a chair, climbing on top of some phone books that were stacked at just the right height.

‘This is Josephine, on the phone books, and this wee one is Elizabeth. And you know Rebecca,’ introduced Bucky. ‘This is Steve. Steve Rogers.’

Elizabeth put her fingers in her mouth and stared at Steve. Josephine tilted her head and studied him with hazel brown eyes.

Steve smiled at her, winking and making a face. Josephine giggled and stuck her tongue out at him, mischievously.

Bucky had went to help his mom get dinner on the table. He returned with three bowls and spoons and set them in front of Rebecca, Steve, and where he would eat. His mom came behind with a pot and a loaf of bread.

Bucky went and brought cups to the table and two smaller bowls with spoons. He brought a pitcher of milk and poured small amounts into Josephine and Elizabeth’s cups.

Steve reached over and poured milk for Rebecca, himself, and Bucky. He set the pitcher down and took a quick sip of milk. It was delicious.

Bucky’s mom ladled generous portions of vegetable beef soup into the bowls, urging Steve to cut off a slice of bread and slather it with the butter that was sitting in a butter dish on the table.

Steve, after a nod from Bucky, did just that. The first taste of soup was like ambrosia. Steve dunked his bread into the bowl and enjoyed the taste of homemade bread, sweet butter, and thick soup.

There was silence as everyone ate, Bucky’s mom feeding Elizabeth bites of soup and bits of bread. Bucky finished eating, then went over to take over feeding Elizabeth so his mom could eat without being interrupted.

After everyone finished eating, Steve got up and helped Bucky clear the table, despite Bucky’s protests.

‘You fed me a great meal, I’m not going to be rude,’ protested Steve. He stacked the bowls and brought them into the small kitchen. Bucky’s mom smiled at him as she ran a tub full of hot, soapy water.

‘That’s very nice of you, Steve. Thank you. Did you enjoy the soup?’ she asked.

‘I sure did. It was great! I couldn’t eat another bite,’ replied Steve, smiling.

‘Did that man hurt you?’ asked Bucky’s mom, softly, over the sound of running water.

Steve looked down. ‘No… he was going to. He wanted to...’

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry he tried but I can’t be sorry for you getting involved. He would have hurt Rebecca something fierce,’ said Bucky’s mom.

‘I know. My mom says to avoid Alphas. That I’m not to go around them or near them. She says I need to stay in the apartment and be careful. She doesn’t want anything happening to me,’ said Steve.

‘Are you a Beta? Or an Omega?’ asked Bucky’s mom.

‘I’m an Omega,’ answered Steve, looking her right in the eye. He braced himself for disapproval or disgust. But she never flinched nor looked at him like he was some poor, pitiful _thing_.

‘That took a lot of guts, then, standing up to that Alpha, Steve. You could have been hurt, bad. Some Alphas don’t care if the Omega has been through their first heat or not. You have some years before yours,’ said Bucky’s mom, nodding her head.

‘Yeah. That’s what my mom said, too. That I won’t go into heat until I’m a teen ager. She said we’ll think of something, then… to keep me safe. I don’t know what we’re going to do but my mom thinks of everything,’ said Steve.

‘Your mom sounds top notch,’ commented Bucky’s mom. ‘Is she going to be home from work, soon?’

‘She works double shifts a lot. It… helps,’ muttered Steve, looking down for the first time.

‘I’m sure it does,’ said Bucky’s mom, briskly. ‘Every penny always helps. Bucky will walk you home. You don’t live too far away so I hope to see you again.’

‘Thanks for dinner,’ said Steve, proud he remembered his manners.

‘You’re welcome. Bucky!’ called his mom, raising her voice just loud enough.

Bucky came into the kitchen, holding Elizabeth in his arms. She was balanced on his hip and had his shirt fisted in one hand.

‘Yeah, mom?’

‘Why don’t you walk Steve home? He doesn’t live too far away. I don’t want anything happening because of what he did,’ said Bucky’s mom.

‘OK. I’ll take Elizabeth in the stroller then, ma. She’ll like going outdoors,’ said Bucky.

‘That’s fine. Just come right home, then. It was nice to meet you, Steve,’ said Bucky’s mom. She leaned down and hugged Steve.

Steve stiffened at first, but relaxed into her hug. She was warm and smelled like fresh baked bread. He liked her a lot.

‘It was nice meeting you, too. I’ll see you around,’ said Steve, waving to her, Rebecca, and Josephine.

Bucky nodded his head. ‘OK, let’s get going. I want to make sure we get back before it gets too late.’

‘OK,’ agreed Steve. He followed Bucky and Elizabeth out the door, shutting it behind him.

They walked down the stairs, Bucky carefully holding Elizabeth as he went down the stairs. Steve followed, the downstairs journey much easier for him than climbing upstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, Bucky grabbed an old stroller from the pile of strollers and bikes against the stairwell.

Bucky and Steve kept an eye out for the Alpha but didn’t see him. They crossed the few blocks over to Steve’s apartment building without incident.

‘Hey… it was nice meeting you,’ said Steve, pausing at the apartment building’s door. He fished the key out of his pocket and smiled at Bucky and Elizabeth.

‘I’ll swing by on Monday. You go to the brick school down the way, right?’ asked Bucky.

‘Yeah. I walk there,’ said Steve.

‘OK. I’ll walk with you. See you then, Steve,’ said Bucky.

Steve waved as they left, smiling when Elizabeth turned and waved at him until she and Bucky turned the corner.

Steve went inside, unlocking the inside door and then slowly climbing the three flights of stairs to the apartment he shared with his mother. He took the apartment key out of his pocket and opened up the door, locking it quickly behind him.

He stared at the torn waistband of his pants and sighed. He went to find a needle and some thread. Best he repaired that before his mom came home. He didn’t want to worry her about anything.

As he repaired his pants, he thought back to Bucky and his family. He liked the whole family and marveled at how providence brought them into his life. He hoped Bucky would be waiting for him downstairs on Monday morning.


	2. Steve Can Do This All Day... Bucky, Not So Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky decides that Steve Rogers is the very worst. Very worst at fighting. Very worst at keeping out of trouble. Very worst at making Bucky have feelings for him.
> 
> Damn you, Steve.

Bucky was waiting for him the next Monday and it quickly became habit for him to be waiting for Steve in the mornings when school was in session. They were in some classes together and some not so they hung out when they could. Gym, recess, lunch, and reading class they had together and they made the most of it. Bucky was in an advanced math and science class. Steve wasn’t but he was in a drawing class that Bucky wasn’t so there was that. Also, Steve didn’t care if Bucky was better at him in math or science. Steve wanted to excel in art.

Sarah Rogers liked Bucky from the start. She approved of him watching out for Steve and was happy when Bucky came to spend the night. She would leave the boys homemade cookies and they’d eat handfuls of them while staying up half the night.

Bucky was a Beta. Rebecca was an Omega and Elizabeth and Josephine were also Betas. Bucky was worried when it was time for Rebecca to have her first heat. He wasn’t sure how he was going to protect his little sister and now he privately thought he had his work cut out for him. Because not only did he have his little sister to take care of, he also had Steve Rogers to look after. And that was a full time job all by itself.

Steve never backed down from a challenge or a fight. He had a small group of Omegas he hung out with at school and when the Alphas tried to push them around, he wasn’t having any of it. He got into scraps and Bucky often had to wade into them to get him out.

‘Jesus, Stevie… just once, can’t you back down?’ demanded Bucky, wiping the blood off of Steve’s face for the umpteenth time.

‘Not when an Omega is being threatened with rape, Buck. I can’t do it. These Alphas think they can get away with everything and it’s not right. I’m not gonna’ stand for it,’ replied Steve, taking Bucky’s hand and groaning as he got up from where he’d been knocked down.

Bucky hauled him to his feet, brushed the dirt off of him, and looked him over. Steve had a beauty of a shiner blooming on his left cheek, his lip was split and blood was still dripping from the wound.

‘You’re a mess. Your ma is going to yell at me and at you because you acted like a mook again, Stevie. What are you going to do when I can’t be here?’ asked Bucky, worried. His hands were gentle as he touched a clean hanky to Steve’s lip.

Steve winced but allowed Bucky to fuss over him. He understood it was part Bucky and part being a Beta.

‘I’ll just have to be careful. And lucky,’ added Steve. ‘Did you see the trashcan lid I picked up? I was doing pretty good with it.’

Bucky glanced to the side. The badly dented in cover was laying on its side. ‘You used _that_ to defend yourself? Awww, Stevie...’

‘It worked out pretty swell. Got some good licks in,’ said Steve, satisfaction in his voice.

‘How is your friend?’ asked Bucky, looking over at where the cowering Omega was curled up into a ball.

Steve handed Bucky the hanky back and rushed over to the boy’s side. ‘Are you OK? He didn’t get very far, did he, Frank?’

Steve helped Frank sit up, patted his back, and waited until Frank could take inventory of his surroundings.

‘Where did that Alpha go?’ asked the boy, and Bucky’s heart squeezed in sympathy. Frank was only a year or two older than them.

‘Bucky kicked his ass,’ said Steve, proudly. ‘Bucky, this is Frank. He helps me with math when you’re not around,’ introduced Steve.

Bucky kept his distance and smiled reassuringly at the boy who was slowly buttoning his shirt and putting himself back together.

‘You’re a math genius? Steve needs all the math help he can get, so thanks. Pleased to meet you,’ said Bucky.

Frank grinned up at him, his dark brown eyes sparkling with humor. ‘So you’re the ‘Bucky’ Steve talks about? Thanks for saving my ass. Mine and Steve’s,’ he added, dryly.

‘Hey!’ exclaimed Steve.

‘I have a problem with Alphas who don’t respect a refusal. It’s one thing if you want it, but if you don’t, then they need to lay off,’ muttered Bucky, stepping closer.

Frank finished buttoning his shirt together and tucked it into his pants with barely shaking hands. ‘That’d be nice in the real world, wouldn’t it? But that’s not how things are,’ he said, softly.

‘It’s how it is in _my_ world,’ retorted Steve. ‘I’m not going to stand by and see my friends assaulted by a no good Alpha. Next time, Frank, just grab one of us. We’ll walk home with you or wherever. We’re pretty safe in a group.’

Frank nodded. ‘I will. I only was going down three blocks. I didn’t think I’d get into any trouble.’

Bucky sniffed the air, thoughtfully. ‘Frank… don’t take this the wrong way, please… but are you in your first heat?’

Frank blushed. ‘It’s my third. I thought I’d be safe by now. I’m four days into it so I’m almost done, you know? But I shouldn’t have pushed it.’

Steve shook his head. ‘Uh uh. Don’t go there. Not your fault. Doesn’t matter what day you’re at in your heat. You got the right to say no or to say yeah. I’m glad I happened to be headed this way.’

Frank nodded his head. ‘I’m glad, too. Thanks, Steve. Haven’t you had your heat yet?’

Steve shrugged. ‘Not yet. I’m thinking the next year or two, though. It’s getting close. I can feel it.’

‘You got a safe house to go to?’ asked Frank.

Steve and Bucky exchanged looks. Safe houses were springing up all over. Places where Omegas could go and stay in their most vulnerable times during a heat. They were guarded by other Omegas, Betas, and a few Alphas who were trust worthy. But these safe houses cost money and not everyone could afford to stay in one.

There were other options. Options that Sarah Rogers and Bucky’s mom had discussed at length. Steve and Bucky had a dim idea that when that time came for Steve, Things Were Taken Care Of but they didn’t know any details.

‘We got something for me,’ said Steve. ‘I’ll be OK.’

‘Good. I better get home, though. My ma is going to be worried. I normally get home right on time,’ said Frank.

‘We’ll walk you there,’ said Steve. He looked to Bucky for confirmation. Bucky nodded his head. There was no way he’d let a vulnerable Omega walk another block when he was still in heat.

‘Thanks, guys,’ said Frank. He managed a smile and Steve gave him a one armed hug.

‘It’s nothing, Frank. You just gotta help me figure out those math problems for next week’s test,’ teased Steve, pleased to see Frank grin.

‘Aw, Steve. Those equations still messing with you?’ asked Frank.

‘I’d rather face three Alphas than write these damn equations out,’ complained Steve.

‘We’ll figure it out,’ soothed Frank. ‘Between Bucky and me, we’ll have you a math genius in no time.’

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘I think you got knocked in the head there, Frank. Stevie, a math genius?’ He laughed and then yelped when Steve pinched him in the arm.

Frank shrugged. ‘Hey… a fella can always try and work miracles, you know?’

Bucky gazed at him with admiration. ‘Where you been hiding this one, Stevie? He’s got a mouth on him. I like that.’

‘Hang around with us Omegas more, Buck. We all have smart mouths,’ said Steve.

‘Might have to, at that,’ murmured Bucky, glancing admiringly at Frank.

Steve wondered what the twinge in his chest meant when Bucky and Frank smiled at each other.

**

Steve came home from school to discover his mom laying on the couch, a washcloth over her eyes.

‘Mom… are you OK?’ asked Steve, worriedly. He touched the washcloth and was alarmed to feel it almost dry.

‘Just… not feeling good, that’s all,’ whispered Sarah. She sat up a little, wincing. ‘Can you get me a glass of water?’

‘Sure, mom, hold on,’ said Steve, taking the washcloth with him. He rinsed it out in cold water and filled up a water glass. He brought them both out to his mom, setting the washcloth on her forehead and handing her the glass.

‘Thank you,’ she said, taking a long sip.

‘Are you gonna stay home tonight?’ asked Steve. He knew she should be getting ready for work. She always had a few moments to spend with him before kissing him on the cheek and heading out the door for the overnight shift at the hospital.

‘I better. I let them know I couldn’t come in tonight. I think I’m going to go lay down for a while. Can you manage supper?’ asked Sarah.

‘Sure, mom. Bucky’s coming over so we’ll just make some sandwiches and study,’ said Steve, stroking the hair back from her eyes. He was alarmed to feel her burning hot beneath his touch.

Steve helped his mom get up from the couch and walked her into the bedroom. ‘Let me know if you need anything, OK, mom?’

He set the water glass down beside the bed on the nightstand table and turned the light on for her. He folded back the blankets so she could get into bed and then he hugged her, feeling the heat of her like a furnace against him.

‘I’ll be fine tomorrow, Steve. I’m going to rest,’ whispered Sarah. She touched his face gently, smiled, and then turned to get ready for bed.

Steve shut the door behind him and paced, worried, until he heard Bucky knock at the front door.

‘Hey… what’s the matter?’ asked Bucky, attuned to Steve’s moods.

‘My mom is home. She’s pretty sick. Has a real high temperature. I gotta keep an eye on her, tonight. It’s OK to just sit in and have supper, Bucky? Study a little?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah! It’s fine,’ reassured Bucky. ‘Sorry your ma’s sick. I’ll have my ma make some chicken soup. That’ll feel good. I’ll bring it over when it’s done.’

Steve smiled gratefully. ‘Thanks loads, Buck. We got some cold cuts and some bread. Want some milk with that?’

‘Nah. I’ll have some water. Why don’t you have some milk?’ asked Bucky, aware that milk was a luxury in the Rogers household. He would rather Steve drink it.

‘I’ll have a glass,’ said Steve. ‘Hey, did I tell you about that job I was looking into?’

Bucky was unpacking his book bag but looked up, sharply, at Steve’s words.

‘What job?’

‘The one helping after school in the art room. I can clean up and organize stuff and get things ready for the next day. It’ll help,’ said Steve.

Bucky grinned. ‘That’s great! You’d be perfect for the job. When do you start?’

Steve smiled, gratified at Bucky’s response. ‘I gotta talk to my art teacher but I think I could start next week. Maybe can afford to get some medicine for my ma if she needs it.’

‘Some medicine for you, too. You know how your asthma gets and winter is hard on you,’ reminded Bucky.

‘Aw, geez, Buck. I won’t get sick like that again,’ said Steve, waving a hand as he opened up the fridge to pull out the white packages of cold cuts.

‘You were awful sick last winter,’ said Bucky, walking over to open up the bread box and unwrapping the bread. He took the bread knife from the butcher block and expertly sliced pieces from the loaf.

‘I was OK,’ said Steve, quietly. ‘I don’t want to get sick like that again, though. It worried my mom a lot.’ That and the money for medicine and the hospital stay and the doctor visits after but Steve didn’t need to mention that to Bucky. He knew Bucky could read between the lines.

‘Well, let’s just make sure this winter, your ma won’t have anything to worry about, pal,’ said Bucky, firmly. He spread a little butter on the slices of bread and put some meat on them, making sure Steve’s sandwiches had a little more than his. He didn’t dare to do more than a little; Steve would notice and there’d be problems, then.

Bucky handed Steve his sandwiches and brought his own to the small wooden table in the kitchen. Steve brought Bucky a tall glass of water and had a tall glass of milk poured for himself.

‘OK, let’s go over those math problems again. I think you’re getting the hang of it but I want to see you work out some of them on your own,’ suggested Bucky.

‘Aw, Bucky… can’t we work on some other stuff, first?’ asked Steve. He’d wolfed down one of his sandwiches and was working on the second one.

‘No. Take your medicine, Stevie. Let’s get this over with and then you can torture me with the other homework stuff. You gotta look over my essay paper, remember?’ reminded Bucky.

‘Finally, the worm turns! OK. Let’s get this over with,’ grumbled Steve.

Bucky grinned at him as he opened up his math book.

**

Bucky knew a few things by the time he hit 14 years of age. He knew he was the one his ma depended upon the most. The man who fathered them had walked out shortly after Elizabeth was born. Bucky didn’t care. His ma was the one who held the family together anyway. He had bigger worries on his mind. He knew his sister, Rebecca, was going to start her first heat soon and he was worried about that. He also knew he was attracted not just to other girls but to boys as well. That didn’t worry him at all. He figured that was just the way he was and he didn’t care what anyone thought.

His ma didn’t mind; she always said people were just people. He knew his ma would have been more concerned if he’d been born an Alpha. She knew some good Alphas but she also knew some not so good Alphas. Bucky was glad he’d been born a Beta because it just made life easier.

Bucky would sneak looks at Steve when he knew Steve was too preoccupied to pay him any mind. This usually was when Steve was working away at a sketch in his art book. Bucky could take all the time in the world to drink in Steve’s features and he wouldn’t get caught at it. Bucky loved it when Steve became engrossed in his art.

Bucky dated Frank for a while but Frank broke things off to date a nice Alpha guy. Bucky liked the guy. The boy was one of the good Alphas and had protected Steve and the other Omegas more than once from his fellow Alphas.

Bucky mourned the break up for a little while and then re-centered his attention on Steve. He didn’t know how he would tell Steve he wanted to date him. He didn’t know the words to express how he felt about him. Bucky thought about it and decided he fell in love with Steve the day his sister had been rescued.

Steve was never going to get very big. He had a heart problem, a breathing problem, a deficiency with some important vitamins and minerals, not to mention his colour blindness and scoliosis of the spine.

Bucky thought Steve was a mess physically and was pretty sure it was someone’s idea of a joke to put that lion’s heart and courage into the frail body Steve inhabited. Sooner or later, Steve was going to come across someone who was going to hurt him, badly. Bucky wanted to be around to protect Steve but a fella could only hang out so often before people start asking awkward questions.

Bucky wondered what would happen when Steve would have his first heat. Where would he go? And more importantly, could Bucky go with to take care of him?


	3. Bucky and Steve's Excellent Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is going through his first heat.
> 
> Bucky is going to be there for him.
> 
> In which Bucky and Steve discover what the big fuss is about with Omegas. 
> 
> Towels are their best friends.
> 
> Everyone, Round One is about to begin...

Bucky was woken up by his ma early in the morning. She shook his shoulder gently and he startled awake.

‘Is it Rebecca?’ gasped Bucky, sitting up immediately.

His ma smiled. ‘No… she has another year, Bucky. It’s Steve. He’s going into heat and I need you to go take care of him for me and his ma.’

Bucky goggled at his ma. ‘What… where are we going? Steve can’t afford a safe house. The city isn’t going to be safe for him.’

‘I know. Go on over to Steve’s home. Sarah is waiting for you. She’s got everything ready to go,’ said Bucky’s ma, helping him throw some clothes into a duffle bag.

‘You guys got ready, didn’t you? You did something,’ said Bucky, stuffing his feet into his boots and lacing them up, quickly.

‘I might have had something to do with it. Now, go! It’s a good thing it’s summer so I don’t have to write an excuse for you. Steve’s waiting, Bucky.’

Bucky slung the duffle bag over his shoulder and kissed his ma on the cheek. ‘Thanks, ma. You’re swell.’

She just looked at him with dark eyes. ‘Buck… be gentle with him. Make sure it’s OK. Remember to stay in control.’

‘Ma… you don’t think...’ and Bucky trailed off, blushing.

‘I think my son has been in love with his best friend for a long time. And I think his best friend also loves my son but isn’t fully aware of it, yet. I also think that you two better be sure if you bond to each other,’ said his ma, softly. She touched Bucky’s cheek, gently. ‘Be sure. A bond lasts until the other one dies and can even linger on after death. Go on, now.’

Bucky managed a nod, kissed his ma again and held her close to him for a moment. ‘We’ll come back when it’s safe and he’s done. See you soon.’

Bucky quietly made his way to the door, opened it, and shut it behind him. He ran to Steve’s apartment building, his heart thudding with anxiety and anticipation.

He climbed the three flights of stairs with ease and knocked on Steve and Sarah Rogers’ door.

Sarah opened up the door and smiled at Bucky. ‘There you are. Good. Now, come with me. Steve’s all ready to go. Steve, honey, Bucky’s here. He’s going to take good care of you for me.’

‘Hey… Buck...’ said Steve, softly. He swayed a little but his eyes were clear and his skin was only slightly warm.

‘Hey… looks like we’re going on an adventure. You ready for this?’ asked Bucky, opening up his duffel at Sarah’s urging. She put in hard food stuffs and Bucky made room for them as they were set in the bag.

‘I think so… Mom told me what to expect and I think I’ll be OK,’ said Steve, looking at his mom.

Sarah ran her hand over Steve’s hair and clasped his shoulder. ‘It’s going to be fine. Bucky’s with you and he’ll take care of you.’ She met Bucky’s eyes and smiled.

‘Bucky… be good to him. Remember what your ma taught you,’ said Sarah.

Bucky nodded, blushing slightly. ‘I will. I’ll take good care of him.’

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘I’m right here, you know. It’s not like I’m going to die. I’m just… you know… going through my first heat. Thankfully, this happens only a couple of times a year or so. It’d be a lot of trouble, otherwise.’

‘It still is a lot of trouble, punk,’ teased Bucky. ‘Two or three times a year we gotta hustle your ass somewhere safe. Good thing I like you.’

Steve smiled. ‘Thank you, Buck. I’m glad you’re going to be with me.’

Bucky shrugged. ‘Yeah. It’s going to be all right.’ He shut the duffle bag and secured it so it wouldn’t fall open.

‘Is that too heavy?’ asked Sarah, anxiously.

Bucky grunted a little as he slung the bag over his shoulder. ‘It’s heavy but I can manage. It’ll be fine.’

Sarah nodded then handed Steve a smaller bag. ‘All right. Most everything you need is in your bag, Steve. There are going to be extra supplies at the house. You should be fine for the time you’ll be there.’

‘How long, mom?’ asked Steve.

‘A week, I think. Maybe longer. It depends because the first heat is the most unpredictable. Everything settles after that. Let’s get you going. I want you out of the city before the hormones kick in,’ said Sarah.

They followed her down the stairs and out the apartment building. She whistled and a young boy came running up.

‘That’s them?’ he asked, pointing with his chin at Steve and Bucky.

‘Yes. Please tell your dad thank you for me. They’re all ready to go,’ said Sarah.

‘Mom… what?’ asked Steve, puzzled.

‘Bucky’s ma and I have been talking about how to take care of you and Bucky’s sister, Rebecca for a while. It just so happens I know someone at the hospital who owns some land outside of the city. He has a spare caretaker’s house on the property and that’s where you’re going to stay. You’ll be safe. No one around for miles and the house will be protected. Go, now. I’ll see you when you’re done,’ explained Sarah.

Steve flung his arms around his mom. ‘Thank you, mom. Thank you so much.’

Sarah kissed Steve’s forehead and brushed his hair out of his face. ‘Just remember to stay in control as long as you can. Bucky is going to take care of you. He’ll do a great job.’ Sarah turned to Bucky and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thank you, Bucky. When it’s Rebecca’s turn, she’ll go up there with a friend your mom trusts. It’s going to be OK.’

Bucky sagged in relief. ‘Thank you, Mrs Rogers. I appreciate it so much. Thanks for looking out for Rebecca, too.’

‘It’s the least I can do. Your mom is a smart woman and she’s kind and generous to my son. Why wouldn’t I return the favour? Now, go. I’ll see you both later on.’

Bucky and Steve followed the young boy, pausing only to wave goodbye. Sarah waved back and then went back into the apartment building.

‘It’s going to be OK, Stevie. I’m here,’ said Bucky, squeezing Steve’s shoulder.

‘I’m glad,’ admitted Steve, smiling. ‘I’m not as scared.’

They got into the back of a truck and settled in comfortably amongst the hay bales. The boy nodded his head. ‘It’ll be OK. Dad is going to bring you up to the farm. You’ll come back when it’s all done. See you, then.’

Before Steve could say another word, the truck pulled away from the curb and he could only wave to the boy who then headed down the street. Steve sighed, glanced at Bucky, and leaned against him.

Bucky could smell the faint scent of hormones from Steve’s body. It wasn’t enough to drive him out of his senses so he relaxed after a few minutes. Steve smelled good to Bucky and Bucky put his arm around Steve so he could be surrounded by Steve’s scent.

Bucky closed his eyes. He knew it’d be at least an hour’s drive out of the city. He might as well get some sleep while he could. He knew he’d be pretty busy when Steve’s heat hit full power.

**

The house was small but had a little kitchen, dining table, living room, bathroom with tub, and two bedrooms.

Bucky put Steve’s and his clothing in one bedroom. No sense on pretending things weren’t going to end there. He noted with approval the stacks of towels on a chair in the corner of the bedroom. He also liked the double bolts on the front and back doors.

‘You boys don’t worry about anything, now. We’ve got you covered. You’ll be safe until your heat ends,’ and here the man who drove them up looked at Steve. ‘There’s towels there. Use them. You’ll need them. Don’t worry about making noise, about scent, about anything. Nobody can smell you or hear you.’

Steve nodded, listening to everything the man was saying. ‘What if an Alpha happens to be nearby?’

The man smiled thinly and patted a long, thin wrapped item near his leg. ‘They best move on if they know what’s good for them. Any Betas, too. People know I’m a tad quick to lose my temper and they don’t want to get on my bad side. So I’m going to be around. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m an Alpha but I’m bonded and even if I were not, you’re not an adult.’

Bucky nodded his head, approvingly. He liked this man with his blunt speech and his keen eyes. ‘What do you do at the hospital, sir?’ he asked.

‘I’m a doctor there. Steve’s mom is one of the nurses who I’ve worked with from time to time. She’s reliable, smart, kind, and empathetic. A great nurse and I enjoy working with her. She came to me when she’d heard through certain channels I had a safe house that was affordable,’ explained the man.

Steve swallowed. ‘How much do I owe you, sir? I’ll pay back every penny. My mom can’t pay it all by herself.’

The doctor chuckled. ‘That’s the thing, Steve. For my staff, the safe house is free. I know how hard they work and I know they can’t afford what the better off folks can when a heat comes on. Nope, there isn’t one red cent charged to Sarah Rogers, son. I meant what I said. You just relax and let Bucky help you get through your first heat. Your mom will let me know when you need to come up again and we’ll arrange it again. And I’m Dr Montgomery.’

Steve and Bucky shook his hand and smiled at each other. It looked like it really was going to be OK.

‘Boys… did your moms talk to you about a first heat? Did they explain bonding to you? And what to expect during this time?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

Steve nodded his head. ‘My mom did. She gave me some information to read so I know what my body’s going through. I can feel it starting. I think I have another day before the heat hits its full strength.’

‘Good, good. And you?’ asked Dr Montgomery, turning to Bucky who raises his eyebrows up.

‘Uh… not really. All I know is that Stevie’s my best friend in the whole wide world. I’m going to be with him because I don’t want him to be alone. My ma said a few things but I don’t know a whole lot. I’ve heard things but I don’t believe in what kids on the streets say. They don’t tell the truth,’ muttered Bucky.

‘No, they don’t. Let’s sit down and I’ll show you a few things and you can ask me any questions you might have. Please don’t be embarrassed or shy. I’m a doctor and I’ve treated Alphas, Betas, and Omegas. I know how your body works and how it reacts. Please take the time to ask me some questions,’ entreated Dr Montgomery. He looked shrewdly at Bucky. ‘You don’t want to hurt your best friend, accidentally, I know. I can help make sure you won’t.’

Bucky gazed at him for a few minutes and then nodded his head. ‘All right, Doc. You seem pretty square. I’ll ask if anything comes to mind.’

**

Steve and Bucky sat down to a nice supper. Doctor Montgomery surprised them with a casserole they could bake in the oven. He also showed them a fully stocked refrigerator and freezer. There was enough food to last the entire time of Steve’s heat. He told the boys to save their food to the very last. He wanted them to be able to bring it back to Steve’s apartment.

He showed the boys how to work the appliances and also how to lock the windows and doors securely. Finally, he handed Bucky a piece of paper with a number written on it.

‘I’m down the road about a mile away. I think Sarah told you but I’ll repeat it. This is my property and this house was a caretaker’s house. If you need me for anything, give me a call. I’ll be able to come by in a flash. I’ll be here for the next couple of days. After that, things should be OK and I’ll be in the City. I’ll check up on you before I leave. Any last questions?’

Bucky and Steve glanced at each other and blushed. Doctor Montgomery had talked about the physical side effects of going into heat as well as the emotional ones. He’d talked to them about Bucky’s reactions, too. He talked to them about bonding and what it would mean for them if they chose to do so.

Doctor Montgomery was very thorough and also very kind. He encouraged their stammering questions and ignored the embarrassment that came with them. Steve and Bucky liked him and trusted him completely before the night was through.

‘No, sir. I think I’m OK,’ said Steve, his cheeks still pink.

Bucky nodded his head as well. ‘Thanks a lot, Doc. Now I know how to help my sister when it’s her turn.’

‘Your sister is an Omega as well, am I correct?’ asked Doctor Montgomery.

‘Yeah. Ma said she has a couple more years. But she is. I’ve been worried sick about how to keep her safe,’ confessed Bucky.

‘You don’t have to worry anymore. When it’s time, tell Steve’s mom. She’ll let me know and I can contact your mom to make the arrangements. She’ll be safe and sound,’ reassured Doctor Montgomery.

‘Aw, thanks, Doc. That’s… real swell of you. If you need any errands run or chores, let me know. I’ll be there,’ said Bucky.

‘I’ll keep that in mind, Bucky. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, let’s get Steve through his first heat. We’ll talk more in the upcoming days. I’ll see you boys tomorrow,’ said Doctor Montgomery. ‘It’s going to be OK. Remember, you got a doctor nearby.’

Doctor Montgomery was a sharp eyed man. He noticed how close Bucky sat next to Steve and how protective he was of him. He saw the glances Bucky gave Steve, how he studied the young man’s face. Doctor Montgomery knew a young man in love when he saw one. He knew Steve would be in good hands.

Bucky and Steve waved good bye and then locked up behind them as Doctor Montgomery had instructed. They looked at each other and laughed.

‘You hungry, Stevie?’ asked Bucky, gesturing to the casserole.

‘I think I could eat some of that. You know how to operate that oven, Bucky?’ teased Steve.

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Please. Don’t be a punk. We’ll eat like kings in an hour!’

They did eat like kings. The casserole was delicious, there was farm fresh milk in the fridge, and Bucky and Steve gorged themselves with glass after glass of sweet milk.

Finally, Steve leaned back. ‘I couldn’t eat another bite. We have enough for tomorrow?’

Bucky checked the casserole pan. ‘Yeah. It’ll be perfect for lunch. How you feeling?’

Steve shrugged. ‘A little warm. Not too bad. Do you smell anything?’

‘Only your stinky self,’ teased Bucky. ‘Not yet. But I think that’ll change come morning. Wanna play some cards before bed?’

‘Sure. You’re going to win this time, Buck,’ said Steve.

‘Aw, knock it off, Stevie. That only worked that one time. I know better by now,’ grumbled Bucky as he got up to clear the dishes from the table.

‘Hey… let me help,’ said Steve, getting up to bring their milk glasses to the sink. He washed a rag and went back to wipe down the kitchen table.

Bucky ran hot water in a tub and put some soap in it. He carefully set the dishes, their forks, and milk glasses in to soak.

‘We can play a couple of games and then do up the dishes before bed,’ suggested Steve.

‘That’s what I was thinking,’ said Bucky. He pulled out the deck of cards from his rucksack. ‘Try not to hurt me too badly here, Steve.’

Steve grinned. ‘Ah, it’s good for you, Bucky. It builds fortitude.’

Bucky shot him a disgusted look. ‘Don’t make me have to hold you down, Stevie.’

Steve shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table. ‘Deal,’ he ordered.

**  
Steve was curled up in his bed when Bucky knocked on his door. ‘Hey… everything OK?’ asked Steve, setting down the book he was reading.

Bucky nodded his head. ‘Yeah… just wanted to check in on you. Are you feeling all right, still?’ He came into the room to sit on the edge of Steve’s bed.

Steve patted the space beside him. ‘Pull up a rock. Yeah, I’m OK. I think I’m getting warmer. Here, feel my forehead,’ invited Steve, leaning over.

Bucky gulped and put his hand up to Steve’s forehead. ‘Yeah… you’re a little warmer. Think it’s going to start tomorrow?’

‘I think so. I think my scent is stronger, too,’ said Steve.

Bucky sniffed. ‘A little? But I’m used to you, Steve. It’d have to be pretty strong for me to notice a huge difference. I’ll let you know.’

Steve sighed. ‘Thanks for coming with, Buck. This has got to be a big pain in the butt. You had to call in at work and everything?’

‘Ma did that. She said she’d take care of it and I’d have a job when I got back. Or if I didn’t, something else would come up. My ma’s pretty optimistic like that,’ said Bucky.

‘Your mom’s pretty awesome,’ added Steve. ‘I think it’ll be OK. You could start working for Doctor Montgomery. It’d be a nice change of pace… might make a little more than working at the corner store.’

‘Might. We’ll see. Like the Doc said, just going to get to that bridge when we come to it. Right now, I want to make sure you’re OK and everything goes fine,’ murmured Bucky.

‘It will. You’re here and Doctor Montgomery is just up the way. It’ll be easy,’ predicted Steve.

‘Oh, great, Stevie. You just jinxed us,’ groaned Bucky.

Steve laughed. ‘Maybe. Hey, you wanna bunk here? This bed’s big enough for the two of us. And if something happens in the night, you’ll be right here by me. If that’s OK?’ asked Steve, his dark blue eyes studying Bucky’s face.

Bucky made a show of considering Steve’s request when inside, it took everything for him not to jump up and punch the air in jubilation. ‘If you’re OK with it, I’m OK with it,’ he said, proud of himself for sounding so nonchalant.

‘That’d be swell, Buck. All right. Let’s just… get comfortable and tuck in for the night. Do you have something you want to read before bed?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah… I can go get that magazine I was saving to read,’ said Bucky. He hopped off the bed, left the room, and came back with a magazine in hand. ‘This bed sure feels good.’

‘It’s pretty swell. Wonder how much it’d cost to have a bed like this,’ said Steve, wiggling down further between the sheets and looking too damn adorable for his own good. At least, to Bucky’s point of view.

‘Too much right now for us. Someday though, Steve. I’ll be making the big bucks and I’ll buy you a bed just like this. You can sleep like royalty,’ said Bucky, earnestly. He got back onto the bed and climbed in between the sheets, resting a finger’s tip length next to Steve.

‘Hey, someday, I’m gonna be an illustrator or something… work in one of those advertising places and maybe become a head artist. We’ll both have lots of money, Bucky. We could eat steak sometimes and drink as much milk as we want,’ said Steve, his eyes sparkling with dreams.

‘Sure, Steve. Have a swanky little apartment somewhere. We can go to the movies and take a taxi to go out to eat. You’ll see. I’ll make sure you have the very best,’ said Bucky, fervently.

‘You already do, Buck. My life is already pretty good,’ said Steve, softly. He smiled at Bucky and Bucky, who thought his heart couldn’t tumble any harder, was surprised when he felt that familiar pull again.

Bucky just opened up the pages of his magazine, going for casual. ‘I’m glad, Stevie. I’m going to keep making sure your life stays golden.’


	4. Love Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Towels. Condoms. More towels.
> 
> Bucky isn't thinking of everything but he's thinking well enough when Steve's heat is full force.
> 
> Steve is only thinking of Bucky... not that Bucky's complaining, mind you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sex between consenting minors in this chapter.
> 
> Bucky and Steve are almost high school age together.

Bucky woke in the wee hours of the morning to Steve thrashing about in bed. There was a film of sweat on Steve’s forehead. Even through the sheets and the layer of pajamas between them, Bucky could feel the heat rolling from Steve’s body.

Bucky got up out of bed and soaked a washcloth in cold water. He came back and shook Steve’s shoulder, gently. ‘Stevie… wake up… you’re pretty hot here, pal. Let’s cool you down.’

Steve’s eyes opened and Bucky could see his pupils were dilated. ‘Buck… I feel so hot.’

‘I know, Stevie… I know. It’s your heat starting. Here, let’s cool you down a little,’ repeated Bucky. He dabbed at Steve’s forehead with the cold cloth.

Steve cried out in shock from the cold but sighed in relief as Bucky continued to swipe the washcloth down Steve’s neck and across his collarbone.

‘How’s that feel?’ asked Bucky, anxiously.

‘Better. I can think again. Is this how it’s going to be? Because this really sucks,’ muttered Steve. He sat up and started unbuttoning his pajama top.

Bucky gulped. ‘Uh… what are you doing, Stevie?’

‘I’m going to get more comfortable. If I keep this top on, I’m going to soak right through it. I’ll see if it’ll feel better if I lay down with the sheets folded down some. At least there’s a little breeze coming through the window,’ remarked Steve.

‘Yeah… and we gotta close that once your heat really starts. Don’t want to risk attracting the wrong attention. Doctor Montgomery will bring us fans tomorrow, OK?’ asked Bucky.

‘Sure… but we’ll be OK tonight. I don’t think I’m going to start really going into heat until tomorrow. I just want to keep the window open a little bit tonight, OK, Buck?’ asked Steve.

‘OK. Just tonight, though. Got to keep you safe, Steve. I don’t want anything happening to you,’ said Bucky, his face solemn as he continued sponging Steve’s skin with the washcloth.

‘Nothing will happen to me now that you’re here, Buck. I’m safe,’ murmured Steve, lying down again.

Bucky stared down at him, tracing the fragile collar bones and ribs with a worried gaze. ‘I got you, pal. Until the end of the line.’

‘I know you do, Bucky. I’m a lucky guy,’ whispered Steve as he drifted back to sleep.

Bucky placed the warm washcloth on the nightstand and made himself comfortable again. He adjusted the sheets around Steve’s waist so they wouldn’t cover his chest.

Steve murmured in his sleep and turned on his side, his hand reaching out.

Bucky took his hand, twining his fingers with Steve’s. He fell asleep, holding Steve’s hand.

**

Bucky woke up at dawn, feeling Steve still hotter than blazes next to him. Somehow, during the night, Steve had managed to kick off his pajama bottoms and curled himself around Bucky despite his heated body.

Bucky thought of baseball scores, prunes, _anything_ that would distract him from the fact that Steve was pressed against him. He cursed his own body for responding.

Still, his body was only doing what it was designed to do and when Bucky took a deep breath in, he discovered there was a probable reason as to why he was reacting so strongly. Steve’s scent had grown markedly stronger and it teased at Bucky’s awareness.

Steve smelled like art paper and ink, like pancakes and milk. He had an underlying scent of copper which puzzled Bucky until he remembered half the time he was around Steve, he was bleeding from being roughed up by other Alphas. Bucky had lost track the number of times he’d dabbed blood from Steve’s face.

Thinking about this helped Bucky get his body under some semblance of control. He quietly got out of bed, and took the washcloth with him. He rinsed it under cold water in the bathroom and then came back, gently jostling Steve until Steve’s eyes opened.

‘Hey, I’m gonna cool you down a little,’ said Bucky. ‘It’ll feel good but it might feel real cold at first.’

Steve nodded, grimaced when the cold towel touched his skin, and then sighed when he adjusted to the feel of it. Bucky sponged Steve’s forehead, neck, and chest.

‘That feels good, Buck. Thanks,’ murmured Steve, his eyes half closed.

‘You’re welcome,’ replied Bucky, setting the cloth down again. ‘I think that’ll help a little. Why don’t you try and sleep a little more. I can make us some pancakes when we get up.’

‘Pancakes sound pretty good,’ said Steve. ‘I’ll eat a dozen at least.’ He yawned and smiled sleepily at Bucky.

‘All right. I’ll make sure there’s enough for you and me. Try and get some more sleep,’ asked Bucky, brushing Steve’s hair back from his forehead.

Steve nodded, a faint smile on his mouth before he fell back asleep.

Bucky shook his head. He was so gone, feeling like this about his best friend. He could wake up every morning and go to bed every night with Steve at his side. He yawned and curled up next to Steve. He figured he’d better get some sleep while he could; Steve’s first heat was going to start later that day.

**

It was after lunch when Steve and Bucky realized they were in trouble. They’d finished doing up the dishes and were sitting on the couch in the living room when Steve’s scent hit them like an anvil. Steve gasped and writhed as his heat kicked in. Bucky gasped when Steve’s scent hit him. His brain almost blanked out from his own response to it.

Almost. He grimly pulled back and reminded himself he wasn’t like those Alphas who would go into rut and assault any Omega they could smell in the prime of their heat. He wouldn’t do that to Steve or himself.

‘Steve… you OK?’ rasped Bucky.

‘I… I’m feeling really weird,’ confessed Steve, a wry smile at the corner of his mouth. He stood up and Bucky could see the wetness between his legs, soaking through his trousers. ‘I think my heat has officially started.’

‘Yeah… let’s get you out of those and get a towel around you. You’ll feel better that way,’ reminded Bucky. He remembered Dr Montgomery talking to them about using the towels when Steve’s heat hit full force.

‘Ok. This is kinda messy,’ muttered Steve as he walked to the bedroom and began taking his trousers off.

Bucky was going to reassure Steve that it was _fine_ , that it was normal for him to secrete fluid like that. He was going to tell Steve that it was a good thing nature provided that natural lubricant so sex wouldn’t hurt a male Omega. Bucky had opened his mouth and was going to say all of this but Steve’s scent hit him and he couldn’t say a word.

Steve had draped his trousers over the chair and his underwear was beyond saving; it would need to be washed. Steve wrapped a towel around himself and brought four of them to the bed. ‘I’m going to put them on the bed. Dr Montgomery said there’s a rubber mattress pad under but I’d still like to protect the sheets if I can.’

Bucky could only swallow and watch Steve fuss over the placement of the towels as he took deep breaths to acclimate him to Steve’s scent. Bucky’s body was definitely reacting. His erection ached so much, it hurt. He remembered Dr Montgomery telling him to take deep breaths and get used to Steve before moving towards him.

Steve went back and took a stack of towels from the chair in the corner of the bedroom and set them on the nightstand by his side of the bed. He turned to look at Bucky. ‘Oh… are you OK, Buck? Is this distracting you too much?’

What could Bucky say? Distracting him too much? He wouldn’t know where to begin. Steve was flushed, his pale skin a light red colour as his temperature hovered into what Dr Montgomery said was the heat range. His eyes were dilated and would remain so during the heat. Then there was Steve’s scent, distracting him and trying to encourage him to set aside all civility and polite trappings and drag Steve to the bed.

‘I… I’m doing OK, Steve. I’m just remembering what Dr Montgomery said and am taking my time, here. I don’t want to do something we’ll regret when your heat is done,’ reminded Bucky, proud his voice didn’t shake.

Steve nodded. ‘I think I understand Alphas a little more, now. It really is a response to an Omega being in heat, isn’t it?’

Bucky shrugged. ‘Still doesn’t mean it’s OK to take advantage of an Omega who can’t say ‘no’ or thinks they want sex when it’s their heat driving them. Omegas got the right to decide and Alphas gotta step back and wait for that.’

‘You’re a Beta, though, Bucky. Does it hit you that strong?’ asked Steve, keeping a respectful distance away.

‘Yeah. Maybe I’m one of those Betas who are affected by Omegas in the prime of their heat. Or maybe it’s just you, Steve. Don’t worry, though. I’m not going to do anything without your permission,’ said Bucky.

‘I know. I know the heat is going to really affect me in a few hours so I’m going to say this right now and I want you to listen to me,’ said Steve, sternly. His dark blue eyes caught Bucky’s gaze and held it.

‘All right, I’m listening,’ said Bucky, leaning against the door frame, wincing when his underwear rubbed against his erection.

Steve winced in sympathy as well but continued as if he hadn’t seen anything. ‘I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad the first time is going to be with someone I chose, not just anyone who would want to have me. I’m really glad this is my choice and I’m not being raped by an Alpha or a gang of Alphas who are looking for a vulnerable Omega. When I ask for you, Buck, I mean it. OK? I want you and it’s of my free will and my choice. Even though the heat’s driving me… I’ve always wanted you.’

Bucky’s eyes widened as Steve talked to him. ‘Me? You’ve wanted me?’ he asked, his voice pitched high in surprise.

Steve ducked his head and blushed. ‘Yeah… always hoped you’d be the one. I kinda was jealous of Frank there for a while. I know you treated him right. Even though you never went through a heat with him, you still got to fool around with him a little. I always wished it was me,’ Steve confessed.

Bucky took a deep breath, let Steve’s scent fill his senses and said, ‘Are you sure, Stevie? I want to hear from your lips that you’re sure and that it’s really OK. I don’t know how much longer I can hold back, here.’

Steve laughed. ‘I’m really sure, Buck. I trust you. It’s really OK.’

Bucky strode forward, his dark blue eyes darkening with desire. He pushed Steve against a wall and whispered, ‘Last chance, Rogers.’

Steve raised his eyebrows and shifted until his lips were touching Bucky’s. ‘Bring it, Barnes,’ he murmured, his lips moving against Bucky’s.

Bucky groaned and pressed against Steve, tilting his head and kissing Steve, coaxing Steve’s mouth open with his.

Steve trembled against him and returned the kiss, opening his mouth and tasting Bucky as much as Bucky was tasting him.

Bucky ran his hands down Steve’s arms, bracketed Steve’s ribs gently, and rolled his hips against Steve’s, rubbing their erections together.

Steve moaned, writhing against Bucky, pulling up Bucky’s shirt so he could touch Bucky’s skin.

Bucky moved so he could kiss Steve’s jaw line and his neck, somehow managing to unbutton his own shirt at the same time. Bucky shrugged his shirt off of him and sighed when Steve touched his bare skin.

‘I’m gonna make this feel so good for you, Stevie… gonna make this feel just right,’ murmured Bucky as he gently bit Steve’s neck, leaving a red mark behind.

Steve thrashed against him. ‘More, Bucky… more...’

Bucky took his time. He whispered suggestions and possibilities as he sucked on Steve’s skin, leaving dark marks behind on his neck and collarbone. He could smell Steve, the ink and paper scent making his head dizzy, the scent of pancakes and milk making him think of finding his way home, the underlying scent of copper daring him to be bolder.

Bucky hesitated as he carefully unknotted Steve’s towel. ‘You OK with this?’ he asked.

‘Yeah… touch me, Buck. Touch me all over,’ moaned Steve, his head thrown back against the wall, his body arched into Bucky’s.

Bucky let the towel drop and swallowed hard as Steve’s scent became stronger. He cupped Steve’s balls and ran his hand up and down Steve’s erection. He paused and then gently touched the outer lips of Steve’s opening, feeling the wetness.

‘Steve… let’s get you on the bed. I wanna take my time, here,’ said Bucky, his voice shaking.

‘Can’t you do this… right here? Can’t you, Bucky?’ asked Steve.

‘Against the wall? For your first time?’and that absolutely wasn’t _hot_ at all. Nope. Not even a little. Bucky was convinced that Steve Rogers was trying to kill him with desire.

‘Yeah… you know I’ll want it again. I want it like this, now,’ said Steve, opening his eyes and panting, his fingers clenched on Bucky’s hips.

‘Let me take my trousers off, then. I think I can do this,’ said Bucky, going to unbutton his trousers and shove them down when Steve put a hand on his wrist.

‘No… leave them on,’ requested Steve.

‘Like that, do you?’ asked Bucky. ‘You’re gonna really like this, then,’ he added, grasping Steve by the waist. ‘Put your legs around me.’

Steve did as was instructed, hooking his ankles behind Bucky’s lower back.

‘Yeah.. OK. Hold on, Steve. Let me know if I’m hurting you,’ said Bucky. He unbuttoned his trousers just enough so his cock could be freed from the confines of his trousers and his underwear.

He retained just enough presence of mind to unwrap the condom he’d put in his pocket. Dr Montgomery had made him promise he’d always use a condom during sex. He had a drawer full of them by the bed, too. He figured he should carry one around, just in case. He was glad of his foresight as he put the condom on.

‘Let me know if I’m going too fast,’ asked Bucky, rubbing his cock against Steve’s opening. He’d thought the condom would cause some resistance but the liquid provided more than enough lubrication. There wasn’t any resistance and Bucky closed his eyes and bit his lip from the sensation.

‘Nooo… it feels so good… inside… go inside...’ moaned Steve.

‘Let me… I wanna make sure it doesn’t hurt,’ panted Bucky, taking his fingers and coating the condom with Steve’s fluid. There was plenty of it; Steve was wet down to the inside of his thighs and Bucky took his sweet time nudging against Steve’s opening.

‘Damn it, Buck! Stop teasing me!’ growled Steve.

Bucky merely circled Steve’s opening with his cock and bit another dark mark against Steve’s jaw.

‘I swear to God, Buck… if you don’t take care of this...’

Bucky laughed and lined his cock up, slowly entering Steve’s opening, feeling Steve clench around him. Bucky hoped he’d last longer than ten seconds.

Steve cried out as Bucky pushed his way inside, slowly, keeping an eye on Steve’s face for any pain.

‘It doesn’t hurt, Buck… swear to God, it doesn’t hurt… it feels so good,’ reassured Steve, using his heels to pull Bucky closer to him.

Bucky let out a choked laugh and then felt himself slide all the way in, buried to his balls. He gasped as Steve clenched around him again.

‘Feels good, Stevie? Want me to move?’ asked Bucky.

‘Yeah… yeah, do something, will ya? I don’t got all day, here,’ teased Steve, smiling at Bucky.

Bucky growled and braced himself against the wall, his hands on either side of Steve’s body. ‘Hold on, then. You want to get slammed against a wall? I’m gonna slam you against a wall.’

Steve tightened his hold on Bucky, his legs flexing so he could hook his ankles tighter against Bucky’s lower back, his arms tightening around Bucky’s neck.

Bucky flexed his hips and then began a steady rhythm, writhing as he pushed Steve against the wall over and over. He could feel his trousers rubbing against his ass, could feel Steve’s ankles tight around his waist. He counted up to a hundred and began reciting baseball statistics in his head so he could last longer. He wanted Steve to enjoy it, wanted Steve to feel good.

Bucky felt Steve spasm around him, felt the orgasm rip through Steve’s body and he braced himself and pushed Steve against the wall hard as he came, feeling unmade and put back together in the space of a few breathless moments.

Steve collapsed against him and Bucky staggered over to the bed, dropping them both onto the bed without any dignity. Steve laid back, gasping, scrabbling for control.

Bucky didn’t give him a chance. Steve was still hard, his cock twitching in Bucky’s hand. Bucky bent over and deep throated Steve before Steve knew what was happening to him.

Steve yelled, his body thrusting upwards, his cock pushing its way further down Bucky’s throat. Bucky relaxed his throat and took Steve down, licking and using his hand to bring Steve to orgasm.

Steve screamed Bucky’s name as he came, Bucky swallowing every drop. Steve batted at Bucky’s head, weakly. ‘Buck… stop… I can’t anymore,’ he pleaded.

Bucky immediately gave one last lick from the base of Steve’s cock to the tip and licked his lips and smiled.

‘How you feeling?’ asked Bucky.

Steve smiled up at him, the dark marks on his neck and chest turning Bucky on more than it should. ‘I’m doing pretty good. How are you doing?’ asked Steve.

‘I’m all right,’ drawled Bucky. ‘You wanna nap? Or wanna eat a little? Doc said you need to eat in between and drink something… take good care of yourself while you’re in heat, remember?’

‘Yeah… I could eat a snack. And nap. And after that, do some more stuff,’ said Steve shyly, blushing.

Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve, a lingering kiss that he reluctantly ended. ‘I’ll get something for us to snack on and some cold water. Be back in a minute.’

Steve nodded and watched Bucky as he got up off the bed and left. He still had his trousers on, of course because Steve didn’t want him to take them off. He paused and took off the used condom, knotting it closed and dropping it into the garbage can near the door.

Steve sighed happily. He hadn’t spent a lot of time wondering what his first heat would be like. He was too busy with school and protecting his fellow Omegas and working to help support his mom. He didn’t, well, wouldn’t allow himself to hope Bucky would be the one at his side. He knew his mom would make sure it’d be OK but didn’t think she’d want Bucky to be the one with him during his first heat.

He was happy to be proven wrong. He looked up when Bucky came back, a plate piled with meat and cheese in one hand and a large mug of water in the other.

‘Think you can eat a little? Then we’ll see how things go?’ asked Bucky.

Steve sat up. ‘Yeah… I think so.’ He looked at Bucky. ‘Thanks, Buck. That felt really good.’

Bucky grinned, pleased with himself. ‘Yeah? I can make it feel a lot better,’ he teased, waggling his eyebrows.

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘We’ll see about that, big talker. Here, hand me some of those bologna slices.’

Bucky handed a couple slices over to Steve along with some cheese. He decided he’d need to eat, too. His back was pleasantly sore and he felt hollowed out. He knew as soon as he’d had a breather, he’d be ready for more. Steve’s scent would get him going again and Steve would be ready again, too. He knew there’d be three days of this. He wasn’t sure whether to whimper with pleasure or groan with anticipated exhaustion.

He best eat up, then. He’d need all his strength.


	5. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's first heat goes well.
> 
> Bucky gets an offer he doesn't want to refuse.
> 
> Tragedy hits Steve like a brick and Bucky is there for him.
> 
> If Steve wasn't so damn stubborn to accept the help offered...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death (NOT Steve or Bucky)

Bucky’s prediction proved true. Steve needed very little time in between sessions and Bucky ate to make sure he could keep up and not collapse.

Dr Montgomery came and checked up on them the first day, diplomatically not commenting on the love bites on their bodies. He nodded in approval when they told him about their eating and drinking and resting. He talked to them, made sure they were OK, stressed condom use, and then brought back fresh towels in from the truck. Bucky helped collect the soiled towels and put them in the back of the truck.

After that, Dr Montgomery left, Bucky locked the door, and Steve tugged him towards the bedroom.

The worst of the heat was over by the fourth day. The second and third day was a continual cycle of sex, eating, and some sleeping. Steve was listening to his body’s demands, sleeping when he needed to, eating and drinking when he could, and having sex with Bucky as often as he could get away with it.

Bucky privately thought it was a good thing they both were young. It didn’t take a lot of time to be ready again. Bucky wondered what he’d do when he got older and couldn’t get hard as soon as Steve needed it. He figured he’d solve that when the time came and not ask for trouble.

For now, he and Steve were young. He hoped he had a job still at the corner market but if not, he thought he could talk to Dr Montgomery and see if he could work for him. Steve was still working at school for the art department. He’d go onto art school and Bucky would figure out what he wanted to do. They’d get a place together. Bucky figured he was meant to be at Steve’s side. Especially his left side. For some reason, Steve never guarded himself there and would leave himself wide open to attack. It was always up to Bucky to cover Steve’s vulnerability and make sure he didn’t get hurt more than necessary.

When the heat passed and Steve’s fever faded and the dilation in his eyes went away, Bucky was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Steve’s scent had settled down, too. Bucky could still smell it but it wasn’t as strong as it had been. Bucky told himself this was for the best and it was good to see Steve in full control of his senses again. Still, it’d felt _good_ to be the one Steve wanted.

Dr Montgomery came to see them on the fifth day, nodded his head when he checked Steve, and told them he’d take them back to the City the next day. He wanted them to stay an extra day, just to be sure. As usual, he gathered up the soiled towels (there wasn’t a whole lot by this time) and Bucky helped. What was unusual was Dr Montgomery told Steve he wanted to talk to Bucky for a little bit and they’d go for a walk. He requested Steve lock up behind them and they’d let Steve know when they were back.

Bucky glanced up at Dr Montgomery as they walked down a well-tread path. He didn’t look angry about anything and Bucky didn’t think they’d done something wrong in the house. He and Steve made sure to wash up their dishes and clean up after themselves. They kept the house as tidy as they could, even during the worst of the heat.

‘You’re not in trouble, Bucky. You and Steve have been very respectful towards the house. Thank you,’ reassured Dr Montgomery, seeming to read Bucky’s mind.

Bucky sighed. ‘Good. I hoped we didn’t make you mad about anything.’

‘Not a thing. Steve’s doing fine. He’ll go back tomorrow and until he has his next heat, there’s no cause for alarm. I wanted to see how you were doing,’ said Dr Montgomery.

‘Me? I’m all right,’ stammered Bucky.

‘You did a fine job, too. Helping Steve through his heat. His body is healthy. He wasn’t physically hurt by rough sex nor was there any other sign it was traumatic on him emotionally. I wish every Omega’s first heat was like that. And I wish every person who encountered an Omega during their first heat was as respectful as you have been, Bucky.’

Bucky glowed with the praise. ‘Thanks, Doc. Steve’s my best friend. I wouldn’t hurt him for the world. Made sure he wanted it, made sure that whatever we did, he was OK with before his heat got really going. He really wasn’t able to say anything but ‘yes’ the second day,’ said Bucky, seriously.

Dr Montgomery nodded his head. ‘Yes. Omegas are prisoners to their heat cycles and that’s what makes them easy prey to Alphas and Betas who don’t care about consent. When an Omega is done with their heat, they are alone to deal with the consequences of their inability to agree to sex with that particular person. It’s damaging. And when precautions aren’t in place, a child can be a possibility.’

Bucky sensed something beneath what was being said to him. ‘Do you help if they don’t want to be pregnant?’

‘Caught up on that, did you? You’re a sharp one. I do, Bucky. It’s not talked about. But those who need my services know they can come to me and I’ll do what needs to be done. No one should have a child they can’t take care of or didn’t want in the first place. Best to give someone a fresh start. They can have a child when they are ready to and when they want to. That decision is theirs and theirs alone,’ said Dr Montgomery.

‘That’s why you insisted I use the condoms. Cos you didn’t want Steve...’ Bucky trailed off, overwhelmed by the possibility that Steve could have conceived during his first heat. How would they have been able to take care of a baby? They could barely take care of themselves.

‘I didn’t want you to have the burden of deciding whether to go on with the pregnancy or not. And Steve is young. There’d be risks to him having a child at his age. No, best to nip that in the bud,’ said Dr Montgomery.

‘Thank you,’ said Bucky, fervently. ‘Someday, maybe? But now? No. We’re not ready.’

‘And how are you doing with not being bonded to him? You didn’t bond, did you?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

‘I didn’t do it. I didn’t want it to happen the first time. I want Steve to be sure. I want him to know that I’m the one he wants and no one else. He has to have that chance to figure it out,’ explained Bucky, even though it hurt to talk about it.

‘It’s still hard for you. Doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t hurt in your gut. Sometimes, Bucky, that’s when you _know_ it’s the right thing. When your gut really feels it and you agonize over it. The right choices aren’t often easy. The hardest right choices _never_ are easy,’ said Dr Montgomery.

‘It’s hard. I’m a fella, Doc. I’m not going to out and out say I love Steve. I think it’s pretty apparent, anyway. I keep pulling him outta fights and get involved when I should walk away. But I can’t. There’s something about him that has me staying around. He’s something else, Doc. He’s got all that moxie in that little body. I gotta respect that and somewhere along the line...’ Bucky gestured helplessly. ‘I wanna take care of him. I wanna make sure he gets what he needs so he doesn’t die some winter cos his shitty lungs don’t work right. Or he gets sick cos his body can’t handle things. Sorry,’ muttered Bucky.

Dr Montgomery’s mouth twitched upwards. ‘How are you getting along at the store you work at?’

‘It’s all right. I get to bring home the dinged cans and old produce. It helps stretches the budget for my ma, you know? Wish I made a little more money to really help. And I wanna make good money when the time comes for me and Steve to bond. I wanna make sure he has the very best,’ explained Bucky.

‘That makes sense to me. When we get back, why don’t you put your two weeks in. I’ll have you working for me, running errands, getting supplies, doing things for me. I trust you can be discreet. I know you’d keep the privacy of certain of my patients,’ said Dr Montgomery, pausing to look Bucky in the eye.

Bucky could hardly believe his good fortune. He wanted to whoop and holler but he wanted to make sure he was hearing things right. ‘Are you saying… are you saying you want me to come work for you?’

‘That’s exactly what I’m saying. And I’ll make sure you’re paid well enough so you never have to worry about groceries or providing for your mother or Steve. In return, I expect your honesty, your respect, your sense of honour, and discreetness. Do we have a deal?’ asked Dr Montgomery, holding out his hand.

Bucky blinked tears back. All his dreams were coming true. ‘We sure do, Dr Montgomery. Thank you. I… I won’t let you down.’

‘I know you won’t. I can tell what a person is like when they’re helping an Omega through their first heat. You passed with flying colours, Bucky. And it’s OK to feel sad about not bonding. It’s OK to have mixed feelings. Give you and Steve some time. It’ll end up all right,’ reassured Dr Montgomery.

‘You’re right, Doc. I feel better already. Should we head back? I can’t wait to tell Steve the news about my new job,’ said Bucky. ‘And then I can tell my ma when we get back to the City. What… what can I tell them?’

Dr Montgomery nodded in approval. ‘Tell them I asked you to work for me as an errand boy and helper. That’s the truth. I won’t have you lie. I just need you to respect my patient’s confidentiality.’

‘Well, yeah. Of course. Great!’ exclaimed Bucky. He couldn’t resist any more and jumped into the air with a holler.

Dr Montgomery laughed. ‘It’ll be good to have you around, Bucky. I’m looking forward to it.’

**  
The next two years went by fast. Rebecca’s first heat came and went without a hitch. Steve settled into three heats a year which was manageable. When the time came, Bucky told Dr Montgomery and they got a ride up to the house where they stayed for a week and then came back down.

The only fly in Bucky’s ointment was Steve’s insistence they’d enlist once they reached of age. America was getting involved in the war effort and Steve was afire to do his part.

‘Bucky… I just can’t sit here and do nothing when there’s a war going on! I gotta do my part!’ exclaimed Steve.

Bucky sighed. He’d had this talk with Steve over and over again. Not only would Steve not get in because of his physical problems, he wouldn’t get in because he was an Omega. Only Alphas and Betas were allowed to enlist or were drafted. No one wanted to deal with the problems having Omegas in the ranks could cause.

‘Steve… until the Army sets up a unit of Omegas, they’re not going to let you enlist. They gotta figure out a way to keep you all safe from the Alphas and Betas when it’s your heat time,’ pointed out Bucky, gently. He wielded the spatula in his hand, waving it around as he talked.

Steve frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I can lie. Say I’m not an Omega.’

‘How the hell would you get away with _that_?’ demanded Bucky, although he feared he knew the answer.

‘I could take some of those blockers that are on the market. Could hide the fact I’m an Omega,’ said Steve, stubbornly.

‘Oh my god. I can’t _believe_ we’re having a conversation about this again. Dr Montgomery told you that stuff is quack medicine. Someday, they’ll be able to invent something that could suppress a heat or something. But that stuff does more harm than it does good. You know that, Stevie,’ pleaded Bucky.

‘I’d only take it a little while. When I’m in, I’ll stop taking it,’ said Steve.

Bucky wanted to tear his hair out. Instead, he whirled around and flipped over the hamburger patties with extreme prejudice. It was better to take it out on those cheap patties of meat than to knock Steve’s head with the spatula.

‘And what are you going to do when they do a physical? How would you hide the fact you’re an Omega? Your body is the way it is, Steve. Nothing wrong with that. But those docs would figure it out in a heartbeat. You’d be shipped back home the same day. For nothing,’ added Bucky.

‘Awww, Bucky, why do you need to ruin it for me?’ asked Steve.

‘I’m not trying to, Steve. I know you want to get involved and help and that’s great. You can help out down at the Center or get your First Aid certification and help down at the hospital...’ Bucky trailed off as Steve got up and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut.

Bucky sighed. He knew where Steve went so he figured he’d just finish supper. It would be better if Steve had the privacy to vent his feelings, anyway. Bucky would let him have some time to himself and then bring him supper. Steve would have cooled down and Bucky could reason with him. Again.

Bucky climbed out onto the fire escape carefully balancing the two plates in his hands and tucking the thermos mug under his arm. He slid out and saw Steve huddled in the corner, petting the neighborhood stray cat.

‘Hey...’ he said, softly.

Steve turned around and took a plate from Bucky’s hand, stretching out his legs so he could rest his plate on his knees. ‘Sorry,’ he said, sighing. ‘I lost my temper again and it wasn’t your fault. You’re making sense, I know. Just...’

‘I know. It’s OK, Steve. Let’s just see what the next couple of years bring. We can’t sign up yet, anyway. You’re doing well in class and I’m getting by OK. We’ll graduate and then figure out a plan,’ said Bucky.

‘Yeah… yeah, that works,’ agreed Steve. He took a bite of his hamburger and chewed slowly. ‘You think they could get those suppressor medicines working right?’

‘Maybe. A lot of people want them so there’s a demand for them. Just gotta be careful and make sure there aren’t any bad side effects. Dr Montgomery’s been treating some Omegas who’ve been on it. He says they’re not in the best of health,’ said Bucky.

‘I can’t risk that, can I?’ said Steve, snorting. ‘My health is crappy enough as it is. I don’t know why you stick with me, Buck. There’s plenty of Omegas out there who are healthier, stronger, able to do more. I’m just a liability to you.’

Bucky shook his head. ‘Not to me you aren’t, Stevie. You only see the physical side of things but I see so much more. You got your art talent and you can write, too. You’re so brave and you won’t back down, even when you should. Just last week, didn’t we have to rough up some Alphas down near the docks?’

Steve nodded. ‘Yeah. They were going after the Omegas who didn’t have a place to go during their heat. Just cos some of those boys walk the docks down there doesn’t mean it’s free for the taking. Or it’s someone’s for the taking.’

‘Exactly. Anyone else woulda’ walked by. Anyone else woulda’ ignored the problem. I heard the boys say they feel safest when you’re around. They know you aren’t gonna’ let anyone push them around. Their customers are nicer to them, too. The boys like it when we stop by,’ said Bucky.

Steve smiled. ‘Really? I’m glad. They’re some good kids down there. A couple real lookers, even.’

Bucky laughed. ‘Yeah? You thinking of trading me in or somethin’?’

‘No way, Bucky Barnes. You’re stuck with me,’ said Steve.

Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve. ‘Too bad, pal. How was the burger?’

Steve made a face. ‘It was… supper. You tried, Buck. Can’t make something good out of something that bad. I appreciate the use of seasonings.’

Bucky sighed. ‘Man… I’m not buying that stuff again. I’d rather eat pasta for a week.’

‘How’s your mom doing?’ asked Steve, changing the subject. He set the plate down and leaned back against the wall.

‘She’s doing fine. The girls are keeping her busy, of course. They’re all getting bigger and Rebecca tries her best to keep them busy. I gotta help too but now that I’m working and going to school, it’s harder for me. Ma says I should just do what I’m doing. She wants me to work for Dr Montgomery and get good grades,’ said Bucky.

‘Yeah. You could work for him for a while. Maybe even go onto college after we graduate,’ said Steve.

Bucky made a neutral noise. ‘Maybe. We’ll see how things go. How’s your ma been feeling? I know she was pretty sick last week.’ Bucky was worried. Sarah had been getting sick more and more often.

Steve frowned. ‘I don’t think she’s getting much better. It helped when Dr Montgomery switched her to his private staff but she still gets sick. I’m not sure she’s going to be OK this winter.’

‘I can come over more often. And I got some extra money, I can help with the heat, Steve,’ said Bucky.

‘No. We’ll make do,’ said Steve, stubbornly. ‘We’ll make do and get on by like we always have. We don’t take charity, Buck.’

‘This ain’t charity, you dope. It’s me helping you. We’re like… family, you know? You’re my fella, Steve. I gotta help if I can,’ said Bucky, quietly.

Steve looked up and stared at Bucky for a moment. ‘I’m your fella, huh?’

Bucky laughed, feeling self conscious. ‘Well, I guess that’s what I’d call it. You want to be with another guy, Steve?’

Steve studied Bucky, his blue eyes giving nothing away. Bucky tried not to fidget under that razor sharp gaze.

‘No. Guess that means you’re my fella, too, Buck,’ said Steve finally, a slight smile on his mouth.

‘Got that right,’ said Bucky, his bravado returning. ‘Ain’t nobody like me, Stevie.’

Steve’s smile widened. ‘Ain’t that the truth. C’mere.’

Bucky scooted over and Steve snuggled into his arms, fitting comfortably against Bucky’s chest.

Bucky dropped a kiss onto the top of Steve’s head, inhaling Steve’s scent. Ink, paper, pancakes, milk, and copper… stronger than normal.

‘Are you going into heat soon?’ asked Bucky.

‘I think so. In a couple of weeks if I’m right,’ replied Steve.

‘Ok. I’ll talk to Dr Montgomery. Make the arrangements. I’ll take good care of you, Steve.’

‘I know you will, Buck. You always do.’

**

When Sarah Rogers died, it wasn’t a surprise to Bucky but it still hurt like hell. She’d been sick for a while, unable to work the last couple of months. Steve was beside himself, alternating between going to school, working a little, and coming home to take care of her.

Steve didn’t say much; his pinched expression and pressed lips more than let Bucky know how he was doing. Bucky didn’t push Steve nor did he bring up money. Instead, he had a quiet talk with Dr Montgomery. The bills were mysteriously paid for and food was stocked in the apartment. Steve was able to keep it nice and warm but Sarah was too sick. She’d not been able to fully recover from the last illness.

Bucky came over to find Steve sitting next to her, her hand in his. ‘Steve?’ asked Bucky.

Steve raised tear filled eyes to Bucky and Bucky saw how still Sarah was and then saw how she wasn’t breathing.

‘Oh, Stevie...’ breathed Bucky. ‘I’m sorry. What can I do?’

‘Do you… do you want to get Dr Montgomery? He asked me to get him when she passed. Please, Buck. I can’t leave her,’ entreated Steve.

‘Of course… just… stay right here, Steve. I’ll be back as soon as I can with the Doc,’ promised Bucky.

Steve nodded and Bucky ran to Dr Montgomery’s office. He knew Dr Montgomery had one last patient for the day and would be free within a matter of minutes. He waited until the patient left and then knocked on the door.

Dr Montgomery looked up and smiled when he saw Bucky. ‘Hey there, Bucky. What can I do for you?’

‘It’s… it’s Steve’s mom,’ began Bucky. He couldn’t finish the sentence. He shook his head, the reality of the situation hitting him hard.

‘Did she die?’ asked Dr Montgomery, gently.

‘Yeah… can you come? Steve is sitting with her,’ said Bucky.

‘Of course. Let me call the funeral home and they can meet us over there. We’ll make sure this isn’t too hard on Steve. I’m sorry,’ said Dr Montgomery.

Bucky nodded, still barely able to speak. ‘I… I better go back. Just ring up when you get there and I’ll buzz the door open.’

Dr Montgomery made shooing motions with his hands as he picked up the phone. Bucky turned around and made his way back to Steve’s apartment. His head was buzzing with plans and possibilities. Now that Steve was alone, where would he go? Bucky had some ideas about that.

Of course, it took a lot of persuading so Steve would agree to move in with Bucky, his mom, and his sisters. For one thing, Steve thought it felt a little like charity and he didn’t want anything to do with it. For another, it took him away from the place he’d grown up in. He’d never lived elsewhere.

He fought with Bucky night and day over the issue. Bucky was at a loss for words. He was running out of ways of saying he wanted Steve living with him because Steve wasn’t really hearing what he had to say.

Bucky’s mom and Dr Montgomery decided to step in at that point. Steve was going around with his lips pressed together and the grief in his eyes was apparent to anyone who knew him. His temper would flare and he’d apologize to his classmates and his teachers when he exploded. He wasn’t as kind to Bucky; he felt that Bucky aggravated the whole situation.

One day, Steve came home to his quiet apartment to find Bucky’s mom and Dr Montgomery at the door, waiting for him. He stammered a greeting, unlocked the door, and invited them in.

‘Can I get you anything?’ asked Steve, polite to the last.

‘No… we won’t stay long. We just thought we’d stop in and talk to you,’ said Bucky’s mom. She smiled at Steve.

‘O...Okay. Um… have a seat?’ asked Steve, gesturing to the thread worn couch. He sat down in the chair opposite them and clasped his hands together.

‘Steve… I understand you and Bucky are having a disagreement right now,’ began Dr Montgomery, diplomatically.

Steve moved restlessly in his seat. ‘Uh… yeah. I guess you can say that. You guys see where I’m coming from, right? It’d be a big imposition to move in and I don’t want to be any bother.’ He looked over at Bucky’s mom. ‘I’d be another mouth to feed and someone else to look over and you don’t need that. You have the girls, too.’

Bucky’s mom smiled again. ‘I appreciate your concern, Steve. Thank you. But has it occurred to you that _I_ was the one who suggested this to Bucky? Bucky wouldn’t assume he could just ask you to move in, you know. He knows better than anyone else what resources we have and what we don’t.’

‘Oh...’ Steve was at a loss. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that, honestly. I just thought Buck was being, well, Buck.’

‘I know you two are a couple. And Steve, I’m happy about it. I know you and Bucky will take good care of each other. That’s all that matters to me. And you’re so good to the girls. They love it when you’re around. You help so much when you’re there. Why would you be a burden?’ asked Bucky’s mom.

‘Well, there’s the food. And the utilities. And no extra space. I don’t want to crash on the couch and take up that room. That’s not right,’ argued Steve.

‘I do believe you have a part time job. And you receive benefits from your dad and now your ma, am I right?’ asked Bucky’s mom.

‘Well, yeah. It’s enough to get me by,’ said Steve. He flushed with embarrassment. He didn’t want them to think he couldn’t handle things by himself.

‘Why don’t we consider it a lease? You move in and pay a portion of the utilities and help with the food? I wouldn’t take all your money, of course. But it’d help you and it’d help us,’ said Bucky’s mom.

‘But the couch,’ protested Steve.

Bucky’s mom and Dr Montgomery exchanged looks. ‘Steve… have you thought of bonding?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

‘A little. I mean, I know it’s something I can do,’ said Steve.

‘I mean, have you thought of bonding with _Bucky_?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

Steve blushed. ‘Yeah… I have. I just don’t want him thinking he has to or anything, just because my mom died. I want Bucky to make the choice without me influencing him.’

‘Fair enough. Steve, you don’t want anyone making decisions for you but I want you to consider that you might be trying to make decisions for Bucky and his family. If he invited you to move in, it’s because his family wants you there. He respects his mother too much to assume he could invite you without talking to her about it. He’s as aware of their budget restraints as you are, if not more so, just like Bucky’s mother said,’ pointed out Dr Montgomery.

‘Aw, geez. I really messed up, didn’t I?’ moaned Steve, flushing red with mortification. ‘I’m really sorry, Mrs Barnes. I just… I don’t want to be a bother.’

Bucky’s mom laughed. ‘You are not a bother, Steven Rogers. Anything but a bother. My son is in love with you, my girls think you’re the bee’s knees. I think you’re a fine young man. And if we want to do the lease bit, that ought to take care of your concerns about taking advantage of us, am I right?’

‘Yeah… I wouldn’t feel as bad about it,’ admitted Steve. ‘But… where am I going to sleep?’

Bucky’s mom gave a smile she later was proud of; she looked a little like the Queen of Sheba, more than a little like the Mona Lisa and very much like a crocodile with all its teeth showing. ‘I’m sure you and Bucky can work that out.’

Steve gaped at her when he figured out what she was saying. ‘We’re not married… and the girls,’ he stammered.

‘I’m not too fussed about the marriage bit. That can come later and the girls will see what it’s like to have a healthy, loving relationship. You and Bucky can show them, especially Rebecca, that an Omega can be in a good, non abusive partnership with someone else. I especially want Rebecca to have that,’ said Bucky’s mom, firmly. ‘She should be able to demand the same thing when she’s ready and she can always look to you and Bucky as an example.’

Steve’s eyes welled up with tears. He was doing that a lot, lately. He missed his mom every day and the care in Bucky’s mom’s voice pierced his heart. ‘I’m a lucky fella,’ he whispered, huskily. ‘Thanks for taking the time and talking to me.’

‘It was our pleasure, Steve. Bucky didn’t know what else to do and we didn’t want you to feel as though you were a burden or have misconceptions. We probably should have talked to you, first but we thought Bucky’s overtures would have been enough,’ said Dr Montgomery. ‘I see what he’s talking about when he talks about you, sometimes.’

Steve grinned. ‘I can be a little hard headed. Bucky says that’s less than endearing.’

Dr Montgomery chuckled and Bucky’s mom laughed.

‘Only to the one facing it. It’s very sweet,’ said Bucky’s mom.

‘Do you want to move in next week? You could give your notice. I think your landlord would be fine with that,’ said Dr Montgomery.

‘Yeah. If that’s OK,’ said Steve to Bucky’s mom.

‘I’ll have Bucky stop by and make the arrangements. We can talk about the money when you’re moved in,’ said Bucky’s mom, nodding her head.

‘Sounds good to me. All right. I better start getting things packed up. I guess,’ said Steve, softly, looking around.

Bucky’s mom laid a hand on his arm. ‘It’ll be good for you to be with us. It doesn’t do to live alone with ghosts.’

Steve nodded. ‘I don’t ever want to do that. Everyone I loved dead, and me the only one left? It’d be awful.’ Steve shuddered. ‘It’d be a living death.’


	6. You're in the Army, Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is drafted.
> 
> Steve is determined.
> 
> And Dr Erskine... well, he sees something in Steve...

Bucky and Steve hauled the last of the boxes from Dr Montgomery’s handy truck up to Bucky’s family’s apartment.

‘For a little guy, you have a lot of stuff,’ muttered Bucky, balancing the last box in one hand as he opened the front door for Steve.

Steve, who had three boxes carefully stacked on top of each other, didn’t dignify that with a reply. He slipped inside and slowly made his way up the stairs.

Bucky waved good bye to Dr Montgomery and then shut the front door, making sure it latched securely. He followed Steve up the landing.

At the door, Steve turned to look at him. ‘Buck… you guys didn’t have to do this. I could have handled things by myself.’

Bucky shook his head. ‘I know that, you mook. We all wanted you here. Sides, didn’t I tell you, Stevie? You and me, together… until the end of the line. All right?’

Steve smiled the grief in his eyes easing. ‘Until the end of the line. All right.’

Bucky felt like he’d won the jackpot.

**

When Bucky got the letter, he crushed it in his left hand, a reaction he wasn’t consciously aware of having or doing. He winced, forcibly relaxed his hand, and unfolded the crinkled mess that was the paper he’d balled up.

He read it again and sighed. He wasn’t going to tell his ma this or Steve. At least not quite yet. They’d just come back from Dr Montgomery’s safe home a day ago. Steve was still shaky and telling his ma the news was unthinkable at the moment.

He thought for a moment and decided to talk to Dr Montgomery after work today.

Bucky waited until the last patient of the day went home. He’d been in the office, cleaning the floor, and stacking the medical supplies in the cupboard. Dr Montgomery wanted him to get the order put away before he left. Bucky was alright with that. He could keep himself busy until he could talk to Dr Montgomery alone.

‘Hey… Doc… do you have a minute?’ asked Bucky when the door opened up and Dr Montgomery came out, smiling in approval at the work Bucky had done.

‘Sure do. Nice job, Bucky. Everything looks great. What’s on your mind?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

‘I’ve got something to show you,’ said Bucky. He handed over the letter and watched as Dr Montgomery read it.

‘I see. Have you told your family or Steve, yet?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

‘No. I didn’t know what to say. My ma is going to cry. Steve is going to be upset because he still wants to enlist in the Army. He keeps talking about heat suppressing medicine and I keep telling him what you told me. He respects you and knows you wouldn’t lie about that. But I worry this news would push him over the edge. He’d take that fool stuff and get sick. He could die!’ cried Bucky.

‘And you wouldn’t be there because you’d be in training. Is that the worse thing about being drafted?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

Bucky sat down, abruptly. ‘What if I don’t come home? What if something happens to me and I never see Steve or my ma or my sisters again? They could get my remains in a pine box if they’re lucky. Or just a flag and a letter with condolences if they’re not. I’ve seen it before. I need to take care of them, Doc. I can’t...’ Bucky swallowed a sob and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

‘I understand. You don’t want to die overseas. And you want to come back home to them. Makes sense to me. Do you want me to come with to talk with them?’ asked Dr Montgomery.

Bucky shook his head. ‘No… I’ll tell them. I can’t be a coward. I gotta’ be brave, like Steve. I gotta’ do my duty.’

Dr Montgomery handed Bucky back his letter. ‘Let me know what I can do to help. You’ll be sending money back home?’

Bucky smiled sardonically. ‘At least I’ll be paid well enough. And if anything happens to me, there’ll be a little money for them. I just want them to be OK. That’s the bottom line.’

Dr Montgomery nodded. ‘Good luck, Bucky. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Bucky said goodbye and headed back home. He didn’t know who he should tell first. His ma? Steve? And how would he tell his sisters? They’d grown up so fast and Bucky could hardly believe the baby was now in grade school. Would he get to see her grow up? He shook his head and sighed at himself. He was being morbid and acting like he was going to die if he went overseas.

Bucky decided he’d tell Steve, first. He knew Steve not only had the heart of a lion but also the steel spine of a bear trap. He’d be able to help his ma with the news and be there for the girls.

That night, as he laid in bed with Steve wrapped in his arms, he hesitantly told Steve. He started with the letter and what was in it. Then, he confessed he was worried sick something might happen to him. He didn’t know how to tell his ma or his sisters.

Steve sat up. ‘Hey… I’ll be here. I got a raise and we’re graduating this spring and… I’ll have to push myself a little more but I can help out. I’ll make sure your mom doesn’t have anything to worry about.’

Bucky gazed up at him. ‘I knew I could count on you, Stevie. Ma and the girls will be fine with you around.’

Steve shrugged. ‘Well, we’ll figure out what to do when I get into the Army, too. I’ll send my money home, too. Make sure they don’t have to worry about food or rent or anything.’

Bucky groaned. ‘Stevie… you can’t do this. I need you to stay home and take care of them!’

Steve’s shoulders tensed up. ‘You want me to be a coward? Want me to act like Alphas think an Omega acts? I couldn’t do that, Buck. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for being so yellow bellied.’

‘Awww, geez, Stevie. I’m asking you to stay here and take care of them so’s I don’t worry about you all and get my fool head shot off for it!’ whispered Bucky, savagely.

Steve flinched. ‘You aren’t going to get your head shot off. You’re going to go over there, do what you need to do, and come home. I’ll catch up with you. We’ll fight together. Never know, might even end up giving Hitler a bop in the nose.’

Bucky laughed. ‘Wouldn’t that be something else? Two Brooklyn boys, giving the Fuhrer what for, huh?’

‘I’ll stay long enough. I’ll make sure everything is OK and I’ll talk to Dr Montgomery. See if he has any ideas for me. Just got through a heat so it’ll be another four months before another one. I can time it so I’d be done with basic before the next one and then we’ll be together,’ said Steve, settling back down into Bucky’s arms.

Bucky sighed. He wasn’t going to fight Steve on this. He was tired of fighting Steve on the reality of an Omega making it through the examination and going through basic while on some quack medicine.

Bucky figured Steve would face reality when he’d be denied yet again. Hopefully, he’d be denied up until the war ended and Bucky would come back home to an angry yet safe and _alive_ Steve. Bucky would deal with the fallout, then.

‘When do you want to talk to your ma and sisters?’ asked Steve.

‘Tomorrow. I can’t wait any longer and I have to go in a couple of days to check in and all that. I want to give them a little time,’ said Bucky.

‘OK. Think you can sleep?’ asked Steve.

Bucky nodded his head. ‘Yeah. I’m going to try, anyway. Won’t do me much good to stay up all night fussing. And I have work tomorrow. I gotta’ go in.’

‘All right. ‘Night, Bucky,’ said Steve, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s jawline.

Bucky smiled, held Steve close to him, and kissed him, gently.

**

Bucky’s ma stared at him with the most shattered, heartbroken look Bucky had ever seen and hoped never to see again. Then she swallowed hard and smiled proudly, though her eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

‘Well, now. They must have heard how wonderful you are, Bucky. You gotta’ go and give them your best,’ she said, softly.

Rebecca was pale and Elizabeth and Josephine sat close to their mother, staring at Bucky like he was the Boogie Man or something. Bucky didn’t blame them.

‘He’ll be gone and come back before you know it,’ said Steve. ‘We’re going to be busy, helping with the war effort, aren’t we, girls? They need us to help down at the Center and to help in the community gardens. We’ll have lots to tell Bucky in our letters to him.’

Bucky smiled at Steve, gratefully. Steve had sat there, holding Bucky’s hand and squeezing it tight when Bucky trembled as he told his family he’d been drafted. Bucky never doubted Steve would come through for him.

‘We can write to you?’ asked Rebecca.

‘Sure can. I’ll be here for a while, you know. In basic training. You can write to me there and when I get over to Europe, you can write to me, there, too. I’ll write back whenever I can,’ reassured Bucky.

Josephine came over and crawled onto Bucky’s lap. ‘You promise?’

‘That I’ll write? Of course I will. Whenever I can, every chance I got. I’ll be asking the Germans for a postage stamp when we get to Berlin,’ teased Bucky.

‘No… you promise you’ll come back home?’ asked Josephine, resting against Bucky and tilting her head so she could gaze up at Bucky.

Bucky sighed. ‘I don’t want to make a promise I might not be able to keep, Jo. I’ll do my best to stay safe. I’ll come home just as soon as we teach Hitler a lesson. I won’t stop until I’m walking up the steps. I can tell you that much. I wanna come back home, OK?”

Josephine sniffed and then she turned and buried her face against Bucky’s chest. Bucky cupped the back of her head, gently, tousling the dark curls.

‘Jo… I’ll be home for a little longer and I’ll spend time with you, OK?’ he asked.

‘Me, too! I want you to spend time with me, too!’ cried Elizabeth, not to be outdone. She’d taken refuge on Bucky’s ma’s lap, tucked in against her.

‘I will. And you, too, Rebecca. Maybe we could go down to the Center tomorrow and see what sort of help they need. Then I’ll know what you’re doing when you write to me,’ suggested Bucky.

‘I”ll come, too. We could sign up for something,’ added Steve. ‘Bucky has work and so do I but after work, right before supper, we could go down for a little while.’

The girls turned as one to Bucky’s ma. ‘Can we, ma?’ asked Rebecca, speaking for them all.

Bucky’s ma smiled. ‘Of course you can. I’m so proud of all of you. I know Bucky will be happy to brag about his sisters helping back home. And Steve, too.’

She smiled gratefully at Steve who nodded his head back at her.

‘Why don’t we have some supper?’ asked Bucky. ‘After, we could turn on the radio and listen to a couple of the shows, what do you say?’

‘That sounds swell!’ exclaimed Elizabeth. ‘I’m hungry, too.’ She glanced up at her mother.

Bucky’s mom smiled. ‘All right, then. Let’s get supper going and afterwards, we can see if we can find a good program to listen to on the radio.’

‘That sounds great. Here, let me help in the kitchen. Buck, why don’t you help the girls get the table ready?’ suggested Steve. He traded silent glances with Bucky who nodded and turned to the girls.

Satisfied, Steve followed Bucky’s mom into the kitchen. He slipped behind her and put his arms around her as her shoulders started to shake. She turned around in his arms, held onto him, and let the tears come.

Steve gently patted her shoulder, making no attempt to interfere. He murmured soft noises of comfort and waited patiently.

After a few minutes, she drew back, wiping the tears away and blowing her nose, softly. ‘I’m so afraid,’ she confessed.

‘I know. I think being afraid is part of this,’ said Steve, a wry smile at the corner of his mouth.

‘And when you leave, I’m going to be more afraid. What they’ll do to you if they discover you’re an Omega. I can’t bear to think of it,’ whispered Bucky’s mom.

Steve didn’t try to demur or derail. ‘It’ll be OK. I’ll talk to Dr Montgomery. He’ll have something for me. I’ll find Bucky. I won’t let him fight alone. We’ll come home to you.’

Bucky’s mom sighed. ‘I hope so, Steve. I hope you do. Now, we better see about dinner.’

**

After Bucky left, Steve went to talk to Dr Montgomery. He was able to obtain some experimental medicine that would suppress the symptoms but not entirely stop his heat. It was better than nothing. He thought he’d try a new place up the way. He hadn’t put his name in there before and since every other place knew his face by now, he thought he might have better luck that way.

When Steve walked in, he saw the familiar signs for examinations and sighed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get past that part _this_ time but he was desperate. Bucky was overseas and Steve wanted to catch up to him. He treasured every letter Bucky wrote to him and missed him, fiercely.

Steve got into line and fidgeted, catching the eye of one of the doctors. The man had a kind face with smudged spectacles perched on his nose. Steve smiled at him and the doctor smiled back. He motioned for Steve to leave the line and Steve, after giving a glance around, stepped out of line and followed the doctor to a back room.

He motioned for Steve to sit down on the exam table and Steve sat. The doctor closed the door firmly and turned back to Steve.

‘I’m Dr Erskine. I believe I’ve seen you before,’ said Dr Erskine, running a hand through wavy dark hair.

‘I… you have?’ asked Steve, resignedly. He couldn’t look this man in the eye and lie.

‘Yes. Why do you want to go so badly? There are boys who don’t want to go but you try and I have the feeling you’ll keep on trying, even if you keep hearing the word ‘no.’ So. Why? Is it to kill Nazis?’ asked Dr Erskine.

Steve recoiled. ‘No! I don’t want to kill _anyone_ ,’ he emphasized, shaking his head.

‘Then?’

‘I don’t like bullies. I don’t care if someone is born an Alpha. That gives them no cause to do whatever they want. Nazis are a bunch of Alpha bullies as far as I’m concerned. They’re not going to stop unless we stop them. I want to stop them, Dr Erskine,’ said Steve.

Dr Erskine squinted at him. ‘Are you an Omega?’

‘Yeah. My doctor gave me some medicine to help with the heat cycle… it won’t stop it completely but… uh, how did you know?’ asked Steve, blushing.

‘I can smell it. Faint. But I can smell your scent. How did you think you were going to get past the doctors?’ asked Dr Erskine, his voice curious.

‘Uh… I never do. They examine me and as soon as they see I’m an Omega, I get rejected. It’s infuriating. I’m just as good as any Beta or Alpha. If people would give us Omegas a chance, we’d show ‘em. But no one does,’ said Steve, his shoulders slumping.

‘Would you like a chance?’ asked Dr Erskine.

‘I… yeah, Dr Erskine. I’d love a chance. My guy is over in Europe right now. I told him I was going to join up and find him. We’d fight together. He doesn’t like bullies very much, either,’ said Steve, his voice soft as he thought of Bucky.

‘What’s your fella’s name?’ asked Dr Erskine.

‘Bucky. Well, James Buchanan Barnes but we call him Bucky. Always have. Kinda’ strange to call him James. He’s something,’ said Steve, smiling.

‘Do you think Bucky would mind if you came over there a little different?’ asked Dr Erskine.

‘Depends on what you mean by ‘a little different,’ there. I mean, I wouldn’t be changed into a bug or something, would I?’ asked Steve.

Dr Erskine laughed. ‘Not a bug. But as to something, well...’ He gazed at Steve, studying him closely. Steve met his gaze without flinching. He liked this doctor. There was something about him that resonated with Steve. A kindred spirit of sorts.

Dr Erskine nodded. ‘I’m passing you. In exchange, I want you to come to where I’m working. I want you to trust me. I know we just met but… there’ll be time to talk on the way up to camp. Let me see your papers.’

Steve moved as though in a dream. He handed Dr Erskine his papers and watched as the stamp of approval was put on them. He wished Bucky had been there to see it.

‘OK. I’ll get these to the staff. I want you back here in three days. That should give you enough time to straighten out your affairs. Do you have family? People who should get your pay?’

‘Yeah. Bucky’s mom. I want her to have it. She has three daughters at home, still. She’s going to need every little bit and I promised her I would help out,’ replied Steve.

Dr Erskine nodded, a satisfied expression on his face. ‘Yes… I knew you would be a good match… all right. I’ll get the paperwork rolling for that. I need you to fill this form out and hand it to the staff up front. Tell them it’s for me. I’ll see you in three days.’

Steve smiled. ‘Dr Erskine… thank you for giving me a chance. I’m not gonna’ disappoint you.’

‘I don’t think you will, Steve. Not at all. In return, I’m going to give you a chance to do some real good. Hopefully to make a change in the world. Do something about those bullies. What do you think?’ asked Dr Erskine.

‘I think that’s swell,’ said Steve. ‘I’ll see you in three days, then. Thank you. Thank you so much.’

Dr Erskine smiled as he looked down at Steve’s papers. ‘Steven Grant Rogers. Where are you from?’

‘Brooklyn, Dr Erskine. I’m just a kid from Brooklyn,’ replied Steve, pleased when Dr Erskine barked out a gruff laugh. Steve waved good bye and headed out, taking the time to fill out the form and handing it to the staff first. He felt like he was floating on air.

Steve sat down that night and wrote a long letter to Bucky, telling him everything. He hoped Bucky was getting his mail. He hoped this letter would have Bucky smiling with happiness. He couldn’t wait to see Bucky’s face again, to have Bucky’s arms around him.

Steve set down the letter when he was finished and picked up his sketchbook. He opened it and paged through it, looking at page after page of sketches of Bucky in various poses and situations. Steve never got tired of drawing Bucky.

Steve shut the cover and put the letter in an envelope and addressed it to the last address Bucky had sent him. He hoped Bucky was doing all right.


	7. Son, Just... Don't (Listen to Bucky remix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People underestimate Steve Rogers all the time. 
> 
> They did when he was pre-serum Steve.
> 
> And they do when he's Captain America. 
> 
> That's OK. Steve is going to use that to his advantage. People will learn. Or they won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon character death.
> 
> Explicit sex.
> 
> No one listens to Bucky. No one. 
> 
> (Bucky is going to enjoy this one. Yes, yes he is)

When Steve looked back, he remembered everything, of course. He remembered being at camp and remembered meeting Peggy and the incident with the “grenade.” He remembered entering the chamber, meeting Dr Erskine’s eyes as the door closed.

He remembered the searing pain and how his body buckled, bending under the pressure but not, in the end, breaking.

He remembered stepping out, looking around, and being struck silent at the change. He could see colours for the first time. He saw the vibrancy of the clothing around him. He could take a deep breath in lungs that didn’t cramp in protest. His spine was straight and his heart didn’t beat in that odd rhythm it used to. He felt like a brand new person, his entire body remade.

He glanced over at Howard Stark who was staring at him with glee and terror and amazement. Decades later, he’d remember the same look on his son’s face when fighting aliens in a New York City he didn’t recognize.

And he could feel the change deep inside of him. He wasn’t merely an Omega anymore. He was an Alpha and his body reflected that change as did his mind.

Unfortunately, Dr Erskine was murdered soon after and things jumped forward. Looped forward beyond Steve’s control. He had no autonomy and being the only perfect specimen now that Dr Erskine was dead meant he was caught. Nice and neat.

Until he heard about Bucky. And then, he wasn’t.

**

Steve had his suspicions when he freed Bucky from Zola’s lab. He wasn’t stupid and he knew Bucky had been changed but he didn’t know _how_ until he got Bucky alone in a tent.

‘Buck...’ Steve sat down next to him, carefully raising a hand to Bucky’s face and cupping his jaw in his hand.

Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut. He was pushing himself beyond normal endurance as they marched to freedom. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was the thinnest Steve had ever seen him.

‘I’m OK, Stevie… just tired. Guess being Zola’s lab rat took a lot out of me,’ whispered Bucky.

Steve’s heart clenched and he drew closer to Bucky, folding Bucky into his chest, feeling protective. ‘Did you get hurt bad?’ asked Steve, anxiously looking over Bucky, running his hands up Bucky’s arms and down his sides.

Bucky didn’t resist until Steve got to his legs and then he flinched, rolling into a ball.

‘Hey… hey, Buck… I won’t hurt you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do,’ reassured Steve in a soft voice.

‘I know… I’m sorry,’ said Bucky, his voice ragged.

‘It’s OK. You know, I told you what happened with me, right? That Dr Erskine found a way to change my body and everything so I have some Alpha traits? Was that what Zola was working on, too? Was he working on changing you, Buck?’ asked Steve.

‘Maybe? I don’t know. He just… it just _hurt_ so damn much. He’d inject me with stuff and watch and do tests. Sometimes I didn’t feel anything and sometimes, I did. I couldn’t… I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just repeated what I was supposed to...’ Bucky trailed off.

Steve knew. Bucky was saying his name, his rank, and his serial number over and over again when Steve got him free from the bonds. It was what they’d all been taught to do when in enemy hands. Steve knew Zola didn’t have Bucky’s best interests at heart. The camp was filled with dead men walking. It was a blue eyed miracle most of them survived and were following Steve (Captain America! That’s who he is!) back to friendly territory.

‘I think he did change you a little, anyway. How do you feel?’ asked Steve.

Bucky shrugged. ‘I don’t know. You don’t...’ and here, Bucky paused, his voice catching.

‘What is it?’ asked Steve, leaning closer.

‘You don’t smell the same. You still smell like you but now there’s an Alpha scent,too. You smell like danger and darkness, Steve. I didn’t expect to see you like… like this,’ ended Bucky, lamely.

Steve smiled a little. ‘Yeah… It’s a shock, isn’t it? I didn’t expect this, either but this is what happened when I got out of the chamber. I’m still me, though, Buck. I’m still… you’re still my guy, aren’t you? I told Dr Erskine all about you.’

That got the first real smile from Bucky. ‘You did?’ he asked, his voice soft with wonder.

‘Yeah… I sure did. I, uh, talked about you a lot. Told him how much I wanted to join you, over here. Told him how we were together and how you always looked out for me. Told him that when this war is over, you and I are going to settle down. Figure it all out. Dr Erskine always encouraged me to think about the after bit. He said it was important to remember there was life outside of wartime. There was time to rebuild and live a life of peace,’ said Steve.

‘You think we can do that?’ asked Bucky.

Steve smiled reassuringly. ‘I know we can, Buck. We’ll go back and now that I can actually work a real job, things will be good for us. We’ll get that big bed we’ve talked about. And I can go onto art school while I’m working. After everything’s said and done, Bucky, we’ll settle down into the life Dr Erskine wanted for us. What do you say?’

Bucky nodded his head. ‘Sounds pretty swell, Stevie. It’d be great to wake up and not be cold or wet or hungry or tired. Scared, even. I’m all over being scared, Steve. I’ve killed more men than I want to think about. I just want to go back home. See my ma and my sisters. See Dr Montgomery. Come home to you at night.’

‘Sounds like a plan to me,’ agreed Steve. He leaned in and kissed Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky rolled his eyes at him. ‘Is that it? I get a kiss on the cheek and a handshake?’ he teased.

Steve chuckled. ‘Never can tell. I didn’t want to presume nothing, Buck. Can I...’ he trailed off, gazing into Bucky’s eyes.

‘Yeah… you can,’ whispered Bucky before drawing Steve to him and kissing him with all the passion Steve remembered.

‘God, Buck… this feels so good,’ moaned Steve. He unbuttoned Bucky’s shirt quickly and started to unbutton his.

‘Wait… the guys...’ said Bucky, putting a restraining hand on Steve’s arm.

‘They know. They’re not going to say anything, Buck. I think a couple of them are pairing up, anyway,’ added Steve.

‘No! Really? Who?’ asked Bucky, intrigued.

‘Not saying. Not mine to say. Just keep an eye out while we’re out and about. Maybe the entire Howling Commandos will pair up,’ said Steve with a grin.

‘I don’t think Jim goes that way,’ said Bucky. ‘And I’m pretty sure Dum Dum and Jones don’t swing that way, either,’

‘You never know. They might be bisexual. Don’t have to be gay to like guys, Buck,’ reminded Steve.

Bucky cracked up. ‘Why are we gossiping about the Howling Commandos and their sexuality? Is this a side effect of that stuff inside of us?’

Steve shrugged. ‘Maybe? Now, where was I?’ he mused, tugging off his shirt and undoing his pants.

Bucky watched with a smile. ‘You in a hurry or something? Been a while?’

‘Aw, stuff it, you. It _has_ been a while,’ admitted Steve. He launched himself at Bucky and laid on top of him, wiggling around mischievously.

‘Christ, Stevie! Careful, you’re gonna’ crush me! How much do you weigh, now?’ asked Bucky, pushing Steve up off of him with effort.

Steve ducked down and nipped at Bucky’s neck. ‘Lots more than I used to. I don’t know. I don’t keep track of that stuff.’

Bucky groaned, arching his back and grinding his pelvis against Steve’s. ‘Whattya’ want to do first?’

‘Let’s just… see how it… goes,’ said Steve, kissing Bucky between words as he tugged at Bucky’s pants.

Bucky smiled and undid them, wiggling out of them and shucking them onto the tent floor. Steve had his own tent as the Captain of the group and while he didn’t necessarily like it, he was grateful for the privacy. Especially now as he undressed Bucky and himself, taking his time.

‘Let me… it’s been so long...’ murmured Bucky, touching Steve’s hip and feeling the muscles flex as he moved his hand down Steve’s thigh.

‘Top or bottom, Buck?’ asked Steve.

‘Top. I want to look down at you,’ said Bucky. He sat up and exchanged kisses with Steve, easing Steve down onto the cot.

‘Careful. We break this cot, we won’t hear the end of it from the guys,’ murmured Steve.

Bucky paused. ‘I’m still wondering where they found this stuff from,’ he muttered, looking distrustfully at the bottle in his hand.

‘It’ll do, Buck. I’m not due for another heat until we get back to camp. Then, you won’t need any of that,’ said Steve.

‘You still have heats?’ asked Bucky.

‘Yeah. But I don’t broadcast my hormones like I used to. I can mask them. And I’m not at the mercy of my heat, anymore. I’m clear headed. We think that’s the side effect of the serum. The Alpha side asserting itself. That means I really get to choose whom I want to be with when I’m in heat,’ said Steve.

‘You do?’ asked Bucky. He had uncapped the bottle, sniffed it, and shrugged, pouring the thick, clear liquid onto his fingertips.

‘Yeah… and you know what that means?’ asked Steve, sighing as Bucky slid his fingers inside him.

‘What?’ asked Bucky, distracted. He took his time and could feel Steve getting wet.

‘It means I choose you, Buck. You’re the one I want,’ said Steve, softly.

Bucky froze. ‘Still? Even after what Zola did to me?’

‘You’re still Bucky to me. I mean, look at me, Buck.’ Steve gestured to his own transformed body. ‘You want someone else, now that I look like this?’

‘Don’t be daft, Steve. Just because you’re body’s different doesn’t mean I… oh...’ Bucky’s voice trailed off and his scowl eased as he got what Steve was saying to him.

Steve smiled up at him. ‘Buck… come on… you’re still me and I’m still me. No matter what was done to us. We’re still together. That’s what counts. Not this… window dressing.’

Bucky snorted. ‘That’s one way of putting it, Rogers. You about ready for me?’ he asked, stroking inside Steve.

Steve gasped. ‘Yeah… anytime you are, Buck.’

‘Getting real mouthy there, Stevie. Looks like getting that new body means you got real sassy, too. I’m gonna have to do something about that,’ said Bucky, his eyes glinting. He unwrapped the condom by the bed and put it on.

Steve raised his eyebrows. ‘Yeah? Show me,’ he challenged Bucky, a flash of the Alpha flaring.

Bucky’s own reaction flared. He slid into Steve with a quick movement of his hips and seated himself deep inside.

‘I’ll show you. All damn night,’ muttered Bucky, bending over to kiss Steve as he began to move.

**

Steve knew Bucky had been deeply affected by the time spent in Zola’s lab. He’d talked to the other Howling Commandos, privately, discreetly, and gained a decent idea of what they all had been through.

He liked the men in Bucky’s unit. They were a raucous, rough bunch who weren’t afraid to tell it like it is. There wasn’t an Omega amongst them and the only Alpha was Falsworth. Bucky was a whole new deal altogether and Steve could see flashes of Alpha behavior along with his familiar Beta behavior as well. The others were all Betas and they weren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. They were cheerful when the chips were down and they were protective of Bucky and loyal to Steve.

Still. Bucky was different. Steve could feel it in his bones. He could see it in Bucky’s thousand yard gaze.

‘Buck… you sure you want to take second watch?’ asked Steve, the final night before they were going to head into friendly territory. At least, they were pretty sure they were. They had confiscated maps and updates from friendly villagers as they made their way as guides. But nothing was one hundred percent accurate.

‘Yeah. I’m OK. Why do you ask?’ asked Bucky, resting his rifle against his leg.

‘You haven’t been sleeping well lately and I want to make sure you’ve gotten enough sleep,’ said Steve, concerned. He’d seen the shadows under Bucky’s eyes grow and he knew Bucky had nightmares almost every night.

‘Awww, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,’ answered Bucky, brushing away Steve’s concern.

‘OK… but if you’re too tired, I know one of the Howling Commandos will take it. You could take third if you want,’ offered Steve.

‘Nah. I… maybe I can sleep if I’m tired from being up half the night,’ said Bucky, sighing.

‘OK. You going to come to the tent when you’re done?’ asked Steve.

Bucky nodded his head. ‘Won’t I wake you up?’

‘For a little bit. Then, you’ll tuck yourself next to me and I’ll fall back asleep, just like a baby. I’ll sleep better knowing you’re there,’ said Steve.

‘OK. I will. I’ll come in when I’m done,’ said Bucky, smiling at Steve.

Steve smiled back happily. He brushed Bucky’s cheek with his fingers and walked away, heading over to where Dum Dum and Dernier were hunkered over some munitions they’d found.

‘You guys have plans for that?’ asked Steve.

Dum Dum glanced up and grinned. ‘We might, Cap. We might at that. You might want to move on.’

Dernier looked at Steve, a broad grin across his face, his dark eyes twinkling. ‘Then you can claim ignorance. Nothin’ wrong with being ignorant.’

Steve laughed and held up his hands. ‘All right, gentlemen. I hear you. Just try not to blow everyone up while you tinker with those things.’

‘Aw, Cap. Now where would the fun be? Don’t ruin it by being a spoil sport, here,’ protested Dernier while Dum Dum nodded solemnly.

Steve simply shook his head and continued on his way, ignoring Dernier’s mutters of, ‘that’s not enough fire power to get the boom we _really_ want to achieve.’

He sat down next to Jim Morita who was warming his hands by the small campfire. He was their medic and was doing a fine job keeping everyone patched up and relatively healthy as they made their way back to safety.

‘I’m sick of this weather. Cold. Wet. Cold. Snow. Cold. I’ll take California again any day of the week,’ said Jim, rubbing his hands together.

‘It’s not been a vacation, has it, Jim?’ asked Steve. He stretched his hands out and felt the warmth of the fire. It felt good.

‘Vacation. Anyone who signed up for this, thinking they were going to be enjoying the finest the Army has to offer had to be delusional,’ said Jim. He glanced over at Steve. ‘Is your heat starting soon?’

‘In a day or two. Can you tell?’ asked Steve, curious.

‘I can smell you’re a little different. You know, when you came into camp that first day, I knew _something_ was riling the Betas and the few Alphas we had. The scent was so odd. It smelled like Alpha but didn’t smell like Alpha. The Alphas were feeling the rut and didn’t know why and the Betas were feeling their protective streaks coming out but didn’t know why it was mingled in with an Alpha’s scent. When we met you, we knew,’ continued Jim.

‘Huh. That explains why you guys kept your distance at first,’ said Steve. He remembered the first week on the go. The men would talk to him but most would hang back, gazing at him with curiosity or acting skittish around him. Now he knew why. Only Bucky remained the same but Bucky was… well, that was Bucky.

‘Yeah. I mean, we didn’t _think_ you were dangerous but that’s how a Beta ends up hurt. We don’t underestimate an Alpha, nope. But then your Omega scent hit us and the Alphas were like, ‘what the...’ and we were like, ‘this doesn’t make any sense at all.’ You know you smell like copper and ink, mostly?’ asked Jim.

‘I do? Huh. That’s distinctive, isn’t it?’ asked Steve.

‘And then, you add that Alpha musk over the top of it. And you don’t _smell_ like an Alpha. At least, it’s not that overwhelming scent that has us Betas trembling at times. It’s more like… The copper and ink are overlaid with a scent that brings out them out. Now that I’ve smelled you, I’d know you anywhere,’ explained Jim.

‘I can’t hide who I am, huh?’ asked Steve.

‘Not really. Not unless you mask your scent, completely. Which I’ve heard you can do when you need to. You might want to do that on a regular basis, Cap. No point in giving your enemies an advantage on the battlefield,’ offered Jim.

‘That makes a lot of sense. Thanks. You guys don’t mind who I am?’ asked Steve, curious.

Jim shrugged. ‘You’re talking to the guy whose face gets mistaken for the enemy, not just here but by our own government. People only look at the surface most of the time, anyway. I’m the wrong person to ask that question. Gabriel is too, for the same reasons. Us minorities don’t have the luxury of waiting until people get to know us. Most can’t look beyond skin colour.’

‘I have a problem with that,’ muttered Steve. ‘Don’t agree with segregation of the troops. Don’t agree with what our government is doing to the Japanese in our country. We got plenty of problems. Don’t need to add to it with racial prejudices.’

Jim barked a bleak laugh. ‘Thanks for that, Cap. Sure wish most of the country thought the way you do. Wouldn’t have had my family’s land taken away from us. Wouldn’t have my grandparents in internment camps. Wouldn’t have had Gabe’s relatives lynched or crosses burned on their lawns. It’s a hard enough world being a Beta or an Omega. Don’t need any of that, too.’

Steve put a hand on the other man’s shoulder. ‘When we get back, if you need help with getting your land back, let me know. I’ll be happy to open some doors for you.’

Jim stared at Steve, his mouth open. ‘Are you real?’ he asked, finally.

‘What?’ asked Steve, puzzled.

‘You have to be real. You really mean that,’ said Jim, closing his mouth and grinning.

Steve grinned back. ‘I don’t say anything I don’t mean, Jim. Your family got a raw deal. I’ll be happy to remind people you fought for us. Risked your life. Was my personal medic. I think that ought to help grease some wheels.’

Jim whistled. ‘Aren’t you the devious one? Have you always been like that?’

‘The answer you’re looking for is ‘yes’ and the other answer is ‘don’t play card games with him because you will lose your shirt’,’ and there was Bucky, a grin on his face.

Steve mock scowled up at him. ‘Now come on, Buck. Don’t be telling any secrets.’

‘Don’t get a sore head, Stevie. These guys ought to know you can fleece them out of their underwear,’ answered Bucky with a devilish grin.

‘No way,’ said a new voice and there was Gabriel Jones, standing there with his hands on his hips. He raised his voice. ‘Hey, boys. Steve thinks he can skunk us in a card game.’

Dernier and Dum Dum ambled over, both of them with wide grins on their faces. Falsworth came over as well, exchanging gleeful looks with Dernier.

‘Cap, we love you with all of our hearts, we really do. But we’ve been playing cards since we’ve been in our nappies. I do believe you are mistaken this time,’ said Falsworth, his crisp British accent underlining his disdain.

Bucky shook his head mournfully as Steve dusted his hands off. ‘Does anyone have a pack of cards? Let’s deal, gentlemen. We’ll see who’s sitting here with clothes on and who isn’t.’


	8. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out with the Howling Commandos is great.
> 
> Being part of a team is great.
> 
> And deciding to bond with Bucky?
> 
> Steve has no words... he'll just show Bucky how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonding in this instance is when the Alpha marks the Omega by biting through skin and drawing blood. A scar is left behind and those who see one on an Omega know they're bonded to an Alpha.
> 
> Steve and Bucky have held off bonding because they were too young and because they both wanted the other to be sure.
> 
> Awww....

Bucky sat, his hand over his mouth, covering the grin on his face.

Steve sighed as he gazed at his fellow soldiers. He had taken off his coat but otherwise still had all his clothes on.

‘I can’t feel my arse,’ muttered Falsworth. He was naked as the day he was born and was shifting uncomfortably on the tree stump he’d been sitting on during the game.

‘Don’t turn my way. I didn’t think I’d see the day when I’d sit surrounded by mostly naked men in a wooded area during wartime. If someone had told me this was my lot in life a year ago, I’d have cussed them out something fierce,’ said Gabriel, mournfully covering his privates with his playing cards.

Jim groaned in agreement. ‘I should have listened to Bucky instead of you, Jones. This whole ‘minorities need to stick together’ begins and ends when it comes to playing card games with Cap. That’s the new rule and I’m sticking to it.’

Dum Dum scowled at his cards. ‘I thought I had that one. I thought I was going to win that round. What happened?’

‘Your pants. Followed by your underwear. Your shirt and jacket were a lost cause three deals ago,’ reminded Dernier, crossing his legs together and sighing. He’d come out the best of all of them, still managing to keep his underwear on.

‘It was a good game, though, wasn’t it, fellas? I did lose my coat to Dernier,’ said Steve, generously. He glanced over at Bucky. ‘You didn’t even play. What’s with that?’

‘It’s called keeping my dignity. I still have it, if you haven’t noticed. Where as the rest of our lively crew is distinctly lacking in it,’ pointed out Bucky.

‘Not to mention lacking in clothes,’ put in Falsworth.

‘All right, guys. Get your clothes back on. I don’t want you all coming down with pneumonia. Jim would never forgive me. This was fun, though, wasn’t it? A real team building exercise,’ commented Steve, a twinkle in his eyes.

‘Awww, Steve. Stuff it,’ said Bucky, openly grinning. ‘You’re going to cause a mutiny if you keep this up. Either that or Dernier’s going to have a surprise waiting for you one morning. It will go, ‘Boom!’’

Dernier grinned. ‘Now, now, Bucky. Don’t be giving me ideas.’

The men put their clothes back on with minor grumbling and many rueful looks between each other. They knew Steve was one hell of a tactician but this only cemented it.

‘Tomorrow, we ought to be back amongst friends,’ predicted Steve. ‘Ok, who has first watch? Let’s keep a sharp eye out tonight. Let me know if there’s any problems. I’ll see you guys in the morning.’ 

The men their good nights and Dum Dum got ready for first watch. Steve walked with him, talking about the vehicles Dum Dum had worked on before he’d been a soldier. Bucky sat down by the fire and checked his rifle, making sure everything was in working order.

Jim sat down next to him. ‘I should have known that card game would end poorly. My first clue should have been that you wouldn’t play with the rest of us. You knew Steve from… before?’

‘Yeah. We grew up together. I knew him from before and I’m still getting used to him, now,’ admitted Bucky.

‘I can see where that would take some time. Not only is his body different but his scent and everything else… he’s still himself but he’s a whole different person as well,’ observed Jim. He watched Bucky’s shoulders lower, the unconscious tension easing.

‘Yeah. That’s exactly it. I see the old Steve in the new Steve and I’m putting the two together. It’s not easy and I still… you ever think you’re back there, sometimes?’ asked Bucky. There was no need to clarify where ‘there’ was.

‘Sometimes,’ admitted Jim. ‘I’ll wake up and not know where I’m at and think I’m back in that hell. I remember men dying and men being taken away and never seen again. I remember the day they took you. It was hard on us, Bucky. We weren’t sure we’d see you alive, again. We didn’t know if we’d even make it through.’

‘Yeah… sometimes, I wished they’d killed me,’ confessed Bucky. ‘That I would have died on that table. But I’m still here and I’m just… every now and then, I don’t know which way is up. I’m not going crazy or anything, am I?’ he asked.

‘If you are, then we all are. We’re all still finding our way, Bucky. Everyone else is still having a hard time. It’ll get easier. But you got the worst of it. We had it bad but not like you. I think some of us feel guilty about that,’ said Jim.

‘What? That’s ridiculous. It wasn’t like you guys influenced them. It was random. And I was sick. Of course I’d be targeted, sooner or later. It was later, thanks to all of you. Be sure to let them know, whoever they are, Jim. That if they hadn’t done their part, I might not be here. Thank them for me, OK?’ asked Bucky.

Jim gazed at him for a moment. ‘Now I see why Steve followed you, here. Why he risked everything to rescue you. Thanks, Bucky. I’ll let everyone know.’

‘Good. And thanks for telling me I’m not the only one who has trouble sleeping at night. That helps a lot,’ said Bucky.

‘You’re welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime, Bucky. I’m always happy to listen,’ invited Jim.

‘Thanks, Jim. I’m gonna doze a little, here. Dum Dum will wake me up when it’s time for my watch. It’ll be great to be back in camp, won’t it? To be with our soldiers again?’ asked Bucky.

‘It’ll be a nice feeling, knowing we don’t have to worry about being on the wrong side when the fighting starts,’ agreed Jim. ‘Other than that? Just wish we were done with all of this. What we discovered in that camp, what _Steve_ discovered is going to affect things.’

‘I know you’re right. Just too damn tired right now to worry about it. I’ll catch you later,’ said Bucky as he made himself comfortable next to the campfire.

Jim nodded his head. ‘Talk to you later,’ he said and got up and walked away.

Bucky dozed, the warmth of the fire feeling good.

**

When they made it back to camp, after introductions were made and the men were hustled off to be fed and examined, Bucky and Steve found themselves in the presence of Colonel Phillips and Peggy Carter.

Steve told them about what he’d seen on the maps and what Hydra had in mind. Colonel Phillips and Peggy exchanged glances.

‘You did a good job, here,’ said Colonel Phillips. He hesitated, glanced at Bucky, then continued speaking. ‘I’d like you to follow up with this. There’s two wars going on, here. The one the men know about and the war against Hydra. Would you take the Howling Commandos and fight the Hydra one?’

Steve glanced at Bucky, concerned. ‘Buck… can you do it? Can you fight with me?’

Bucky looked down and then up, his eyes studying Steve’s face. ‘I’m not leaving you, Steve. I gotta’ watch your left side. You always leave that exposed. Can’t have that happening, not if you’re going after Hydra.’

Steve ignored the others, turning to cup Bucky’s face in his hands. ‘Are you sure? You can stay here… you’ve been through so much. I’ll come back, Buck. I wouldn’t leave you.’

‘I know you wouldn’t leave me, Steve. I’m not leaving you because I’m going with you,’ said Bucky, quietly, leaning into Steve’s touch.

Steve nodded, then dropped his hands from Bucky’s face after one more caress. He turned back towards Colonel Phillips. ‘All right. The men need to rest a few days. We have about a week but we need to get to the first Hydra base soon after that. We’ll need supplies. Munitions. Food. We can move out within a week.’

‘All right. You’ll have it.’ Colonel Phillips looked over Steve and Bucky with a sharp eye. ‘Get some chow in the both of you and get some sleep. You’ll need your strength.’

Steve and Bucky saluted and left the tent. They headed towards the mess tents, weariness making them bump into each other as they walked along.

Steve slung his arm around Bucky’s shoulder. ‘I could eat a horse,’ he confessed, squeezing Bucky’s shoulder tight.

‘I could eat two,’ contested Bucky. ‘A man can live on rations for only so long. I was even wishing I had some of those hamburger patties I used to make for us.’

Steve wrinkled his nose. ‘You _must_ be starving, then. I haven’t gotten as desperate as that. Let’s load up.’

They filled their trays with food and got cups of coffee and made their way to a table where the rest of the Howling Commandos were sitting.

‘Hey, look who finally gets to join us! Pull up a seat,’ invited Dernier.

‘Thanks! Did you guys all eat?’ asked Steve, as he sat down, Bucky sitting next to him.

‘Yeah. We even got seconds or thirds. I think I might gain some weight back,’ said Gabriel with a grin. He sipped some coffee and looked happy.

‘I’m glad you guys got some food in you,’ said Steve, picking up his fork. He ate quickly, excused himself, got seconds, and ate again.

Bucky matched him, eating seconds and then thirds, and then a final fourth helping along with copious amounts of coffee.

Steve sighed, finally feeling full. ‘I haven’t eaten that much in a long time.’

Dum Dum sighed as well. ‘How much food are we gonna’ have to take with us to keep you and Barnes there from starvation?’

‘Maybe we should just bring two or three cow’s worth of hamburger along. That might last them a week,’ teased Jim Morita, his dark eyes twinkling.

‘Ha ha,’ said Bucky, his mouth twitching up into a small smile, nonetheless.

‘You guys think we’re going somewhere?’ asked Steve, raising his eyebrows.

Dernier snorted. ‘You weren’t pulled into that tent for just a thank you and a goodbye kiss. They want you to do something, don’t they?’

Steve took a sip of his coffee. ‘Let’s wait a bit. Do they have a bar somewhere around here?’

**

Steve opened up a tab at the bar. The Howling Commandos proceeded to try and outdo each other, drinking beer and whisky shots with abandon.

Steve and Bucky watched, amused. After some initial misgivings and a pointed comment or two from Gabriel, their fellow soldiers wanted to be part of the action. They all agreed they’d join Bucky and Steve in going after Hydra.

‘This is how we’re rewarding them?’ asked Bucky, wincing as Dernier began singing a ribald French song in a high falsetto.

‘Well, it’s what they wanted. And I’d rather have these guys than anyone else the Army can provide. They know what’s at stake, better than anyone else,’ murmured Steve, grinning as Falsworth grabbed Dernier and wrestled him down for a kiss and to perch on his lap.

Bucky narrowed his eyes as Dernier looped his arms around Falsworth’s neck and kissed him back.

‘Figured it out, yet?’ asked Steve, his voice quiet but amused.

‘Those two? They’re the ones who are together? I was thinking Gabriel and Dernier,’ muttered Bucky.

‘They’re close. But nope. Gabe’s got a sweetheart back home. She’s an Omega who’s working as a nurse in the Red Cross. They’ve been dating since they’ve been teens. Dernier and Falsworth were unattached. Falsworth doesn’t care that Dernier isn’t an Omega and Dernier doesn’t care that Falsworth’s an Alpha. It all works out,’ said Steve.

‘When do we go leave camp?’ asked Bucky, watching Jim Morita and Dum Dum circle the tiny wooden floor, singing loudly and swaying drunkenly in each other’s arms.

‘In a couple of days. We’ll hit the first base, make our way to the next one, and then the next one. If we’re lucky, we can hopefully stop them all for good. We’ll start with the first one, though. Don’t need to get ahead of ourselves,’ answered Steve.

He leaned against Bucky and put his arm around him. His heat was going to start the next day. He could feel his body reacting to Bucky’s nearness. He wanted Bucky to touch him, to hold him. By the slight glaze in Bucky’s eyes, he could see that Bucky was reacting to Steve as well.

‘Do you wanna’ head back to the tent?’ asked Steve, placing a delicate kiss on Bucky’s jawline.

Bucky shivered. ‘Yeah… let’s head back. Do we need to get the guys going, too?’

Steve sighed. ‘We can try. And I better pay the bill.’

**

The Howling Commandos made their way across Europe. They not only destroyed Hydra bases, they also dropped in at villages where the Nazis were terrorizing people. Rumor soon spread about Captain America and his Howling Commandos who appeared like magic when needed.

Steve didn’t discourage the rumors. It was through the villagers they learned of smaller Hydra operations and other atrocities. It was with great pleasure and satisfaction that people learned of what happened to the Nazis and Hydra operatives when they were revealed. The villages protected the Howling Commandos and made sure they could make their way to their destinations.

The Howling Commandos soon became a closely knit, well oiled fighting unit. Each man knew what the other was capable of doing. Each had their areas of expertise. Dernier became especially skilled at demolitions. Morita was valued for his gentleness with prisoners of war. Dum Dum could hotwire any vehicle and could get them going. Gabriel honed his language skills and became proficient in German, Russian, Polish, Ukrainian, Serbo-Croatian, and a handful of others. He could communicate with others easily and was invaluable in interrogations. Falsworth and Steve worked together to develop plans and contingency plans and contingency upon contingency plans. As for Bucky, his skill with a sniper rifle was second to none.

Bucky and Steve didn’t talk about the Hydra base Bucky and the other Howling Commandos had been freed from very often. They knew Johann Schmidt was planning something big and they needed to stop him. Steve had seen first hand what Dr Erskine had been talking about when Schmidt revealed himself to be the Red Skull. He’d seen what the serum would do to people, what it would reveal of them. Schmidt’s horrific outside appearance now matched the monstrous inside. He couldn’t hide who and what he really was.

Steve had spent some time with Howard Stark before he left with the Howling Commandos, receiving clothing that would protect him a lot better than his USO “uniform” did. And the shield.

Steve and Bucky had taken turns holding the shield and throwing it. They could ricochet the shield off of numerous objects and have it boomerang back at the right angles.

Bucky had at first refused to hold it. ‘That’s not my weapon, Stevie. I’ve got my rifle.’

‘I know you do, Buck. But just in case. Look, I’d rather you know how to use it. I have to practice with a handgun, don’t I? Even though I don’t use one. I want you to be proficient. Let’s… let’s practice throwing it to each other,’ encouraged Steve.

Bucky sighed because Steve had that stubborn look on his face again and also, his eyes were sparkling with happy anticipation.

He knew better than to drag his feet. He could refuse, of course. Steve respected his choices and wouldn’t push. But Bucky _did_ want to learn how to use the shield effectively. And Steve had a point. He should learn how to use it in case Steve couldn’t. His mind shied away from any of _those_ possibilities and decided to focus on Steve’s request.

‘You mean we’re gonna’ look like two mooks, throwing the world’s biggest disc to each other,’ teased Bucky.

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘Aw, geez, Buck. Yeah, we’re two big kids throwing a big ol’ disc around. You happy now?’

‘Ecstatic,’ responded Bucky, dryly. He made ‘gimme’ motions with his hands. ‘Come on, punk. Show me what you got.’

Steve snorted and flung the shield at Bucky. Bucky stepped back, then caught it on the fly, letting loose a ‘whoop’ of excitement.

Steve laughed in return and caught the shield, turning around so he could catch it behind his back.

‘Show off!’ cried Bucky. He caught the shield while doing a leap from a nearby tree stump and Steve cheered.

Bucky turned pink with pleasure as he gently tossed the shield back to Steve.

They tossed it back and forth a few more times until Bucky said his arm was starting to ache. Steve nodded and they walked back to the camp.

‘You guys done getting ready for the Shield Olympics?’ teased Gideon, meticulously cleaning the radio kit.

‘That’s right. We’re gonna’ take gold for the home team. USA! USA!’ chanted Bucky, raising his hand in the air.

Gideon laughed and he flicked the cleaning towel at Bucky. ‘I’ll be able to say ‘I knew you way back when’.’

‘Indeed,’ said Falsworth as he walked towards them, holding a bundle of maps and documents. He gestured to Steve. ‘I hate to do this but I need some time. I just got some intel from Phillips.’

‘Of course. Do you want to sit here? It’s really nice out right now,’ said Steve.

Falsworth shrugged. ‘I don’t mind. It’s not like it’s a secret or anything. We all need to put some input into this one, anyway. This is pretty big.’

Steve heard something in Monty’s voice that had him calling for the rest of the Howling Commandos to join them. They did so, sitting around the campfire, waiting for Falsworth to tell them what was going on.

‘What’s the big news?’ asked Bucky, leaning against Steve’s side.

‘We have intel on where Zola is,’ said Monty, his eyes apologetic as he answered Bucky, bluntly.

Bucky flinched against Steve’s side and Steve wrapped his arm around him.

The other Howling Commandos sat in silence for a moment. Then Dernier, with a sideways glance at Bucky, spoke up.

‘I vote that when we get him, Bucky gets to plug a hole in him,’ he said, his characteristic light tone missing.

‘I second that,’ said Dum Dum, nodding respectfully at Bucky.

‘Thanks, guys. But we need him alive,’ said Bucky, after a moment.

‘No we don’t,’ said Dum Dum.

‘Yeah, we do. Because he knows where Schmidt is. He knows what the big plans are. We gotta’ ask him questions. Can’t do that if he’s dead,’ pointed out Bucky.

‘Can you shoot him just a little? You know, just to scare him or something?’ asked Dernier.

‘No shooting. We’ll bring him back to Phillips. We’ll get the info we need so we can stop Schmidt,’ answered Steve.

‘OK. Then we can shoot him,’ finished Dum Dum.

Steve sighed. ‘No. Unfortunately, we’d get into trouble for that. And we need to go after Schmidt. There won’t be time for shooting.’

Dernier snorted. ‘Says you. I can make all the time in the world. Maybe a small boom will do.’

‘Heh. No small booms. Or big booms. Or medium booms… look, no booms, whatsoever. We’re not them, guys. As much as we’d like to get revenge… we can’t be like them. That’s the difference between them and us. I’m not going to be like them and I don’t want you guys being like them, too,’ said Steve, sternly. He kept his voice soft but his tone was firm.

Dernier drooped against Falsworth. ‘Awww… Cap, you take the fun outta’ everything.’

‘Sorry. But you know I’m making sense, here. Let’s do this job. Get Zola. Get the info we need. Stop Schmidt. Win the war against Hydra. Go back home and live the life we want. That’s what we really want, isn’t it?’ asked Steve.

The Howling Commandos looked at each other and sighed, deeply.

‘ **I** really want to give him a swift kick in the nuts,’ muttered Bucky. ‘But yeah, we’ll do it your way, Steve.’

Steve nodded and then, the wicked grin that Bucky loved so much sneaked across his face. The Howling Commandos watched in fascination as the grin grew wider.

‘Of course, I might look the other way so you can get one good kick in, Buck,’ murmured Steve and Bucky laughed.

That night, Bucky laid in bed, watching Steve get undressed. He smiled as Steve took off his shirt and then crawled into bed, wrapping Bucky up in his arms.

‘Steve...’ Bucky began but fell silent.

‘What?’ asked Steve. He wondered when Bucky would tell him what was on his mind. He’d been quiet all through dinner and had responded distractedly to the other Commandos.

‘Have you ever thought about… being bonded?’ asked Bucky.

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. ‘Have I ever… yeah… yeah, I have, Buck,’ he responded, softly.

‘Would you ever… have you ever thought you’d like to be bonded to me?’ asked Bucky, his voice a whisper.

‘I’ve thought about it a lot, Buck. I didn’t want to… I mean, I didn’t want you to feel like you _had_ to do that with me,’ whispered back Steve. ‘I want you to make your own decision, you know?’

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Thanks for that, punk. Of course it’d be my own decision. How’d you know if you wanted to be bonded with me? There might be an Alpha out there who’d be good for you.’

‘If you haven’t paid attention to our time together, you’ve been pretty damn good to me, Buck. Ever since we were kids. If my mom was alive today, she’d be happy for us. I haven’t thought of anyone else because there isn’t anyone else for me, Buck. It’s always been you,’ said Steve.

Bucky gazed at him. ‘You sure, Stevie? I can… I can wait. I can step aside, if you want.’

‘I don’t need you to do that. You don’t have to wait… you don’t have to step aside. There’s no one else I want, Buck. Just you,’ said Steve, his eyes on Bucky’s face, watching him closely.

Bucky swallowed. ‘I want to do it. Tonight. I want to bond with you.’

‘Why tonight?’ asked Steve.

‘Because we’re going after Zola and Steve… I just have a feeling we need to do this. I don’t want to wait any longer. If something happens to me, I want you to know I’m yours and you’re gonna’ get my benefits and everything. And I know you’d take good care of my ma and sisters,’ said Bucky, softly.

‘Hey… hey, nothing is gonna’ happen. We’re gonna’ take care of this whole mess with Zola. Stop Schmidt. Go back home for a well deserved visit after. Wouldn’t that be sweet, Buck? See your mom and sisters. Spend some time with our neighbors. Maybe hang out with Gabriel in New York, too. What do you say?’ asked Steve.

‘That’d be swell, Stevie. But just in case… in case I’m right and something happens. I want to be bonded to you. I want this,’ said Bucky, his fingers tight on Steve’s arms.

‘OK… I… I’d like that, Buck,’ said Steve. He kissed Bucky softly, taking his time, feeling Bucky relax against him.

Steve kissed Bucky as though he were the most valuable person in his life and that wasn’t a lie. Bucky was the one person he loved more than anyone else, other than his mother. Bucky had been the fixed point in his life from when he was young and he never imagined being with anyone else. It’d always been Bucky.

Bucky, for his part, felt like he must be dreaming. He’d loved Steve for as long as he could remember. Steve was his lode star and Bucky would follow Steve anywhere. The raids on the Hydra bases were hard for him; he saw what was left of the “experiments” abandoned by Hydra. He knew that could have been him as well.

But he wouldn’t leave Steve’s side. He was there to stay. He’d told Steve until the end of the line and he meant every word.

Bucky held onto Steve as tight as Steve held onto Bucky when they went on the Cyclone together. He could feel the serum stirring inside his body, could feel himself knotting in anticipation of bonding with Steve.

‘I wanna… let me...’ murmured Bucky, as he ghosted his hands over Steve’s body and kissed and nipped at Steve’s neck and ear. He was careful to mark Steve only where nobody could see. He felt the urge to mark Steve permanently, wanted Steve to see it every time he looked in the mirror. Once he bit down, once he bonded with Steve, there was no going back.

Bucky still marveled at Steve’s new body. He could see glimpses of the boy he knew but it was mostly buried beneath muscle. Bucky loved everything about Steve’s body, new or old, it didn’t matter. He took his time, making sure Steve was wet and ready. 

Steve gasped as Bucky entered him, gasped as he felt the knot lodge in deep and when Bucky marked him, when the blood trickled down his shoulder and Bucky lapped at it, Steve groaned.

Bucky kissed him, sharing the taste of blood, the scent of copper, ink, paper, pancakes, and milk rising around them, the musk of Steve’s Alpha scent highlighting it all.

Bucky smelled like Alpha, smelled like possession and gun oil, and the quiet before the whistle of the bullet. Bucky was all Alpha when he bonded with Steve, his Alpha calling to the Omega that was still part of Steve.

Steve rocked their bodies together, his legs wrapped around the small of Bucky’s back. He could feel how they fit together, could feel what was Bucky’s essence settle in his skin and feel a part of himself become part of Bucky as well.

‘My turn,’ muttered Steve, when the knot eased and Bucky could pull out, the condom quickly knotted and tossed aside.

Before Bucky could say anything, Steve slid in deep, using his own fluid as lubricant, his own Alpha urges driving him on. Bucky held onto Steve as Steve thrust deeper, his knot engorged, seeking to set into place.

When Steve slid in deep, slid in _deepest_ , Bucky groaned, feeling the knot hold tight.

‘Good thing I can’t get pregnant, you mook,’ he panted, shifting so he could better feel the knot deep inside.

‘Aw, geez,’ muttered Steve. ‘Sorry… wasn’t thinking. Just… want to bond with you this way, too, Buck. Just want to...’ Steve broke off talking and dipped down, licking at Bucky’s neck, questing with his lips the perfect spot to bite down on.

‘Do it… do it, Stevie,’ urged Bucky, stifling a scream when Steve bit down _hard_. The shock hit his system as Steve worried at the bite, tasting Bucky’s flesh and blood with his tongue and lips.

Steve kissed Bucky as well, sharing the taste of blood and adrenaline. Bucky moaned into Steve’s mouth, feeling Steve’s scent and some essence of Steve settle into his skin, sinking deep into his bones and gut.

‘I can feel you, Stevie… can you feel me?’ whispered Buck, moving a little, feeling everything settle into place.

‘Yeah… this is what bonding is, huh? No wonder Dr Montgomery wanted us to be sure. Feels good,’ said Steve, rolling his hips.

Bucky closed his eyes and encouraged Steve with his own movements and his fingers digging into Steve’s back.

When Steve came, he felt as though an invisible chain had connected his heart to Bucky’s. He could feel it tug at him, could feel it tighten when he moved away. He laid back down, resting beside Bucky, waiting for his knot to subside.

Bucky smiled up at him, his eyes fluttering shut. ‘That was… good...’ he murmured.

Steve eyed the bite mark and sighed with relief; it was clean and already healing. He knew his own bite mark was almost healed as well. He could feel the serum at work, knitting tissue and skin together.

‘Don’t be such a worrier… I’m fine,’ said Bucky, opening one eye and glaring at Steve.

‘I’m not worrying,’ said Steve, defensively.

‘Uh huh. I can feel you worrying, punk. I’ll heal up nice and clean. Except for my scar. We’re bonded, Stevie. No matter what else happens, we’re together,’ said Bucky, his voice falling silent as he fell asleep.

Steve gently brushed back the dark hair from Bucky’s forehead. He brushed a kiss against Bucky’s cheek and smiled as Bucky smiled in his sleep.

Even when the knot subsided and Steve could ease out, he didn’t. He stayed connected to Bucky until the early hours of the morning.


	9. I Knew Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve loses Bucky.
> 
> Steve finds Bucky.
> 
> Steve loses Bucky again.
> 
> Bucky is the world's biggest cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some canon, some divergence from canon.
> 
> All awesome.

Bucky stared at the zipline and then back at Steve. ‘You’re kidding, right? This is payback for the Cyclone, isn’t it?’

Steve grinned. ‘Nah. No way. It’s gonna be easy as pie, Buck. Go on.’

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve and grunted. ‘Go on. Right.’

Steve waited until Bucky got going and then he slid down as well, always feeling Bucky’s presence deep inside of him.

After that, things went to hell.

Bucky defended Steve with the shield.

And then, Steve’s world froze, stopped, shattered.

‘Bucky!!!’

Steve bent over himself, searching for that presence, trying to find Bucky’s essence inside.

Silence.

**

Piloting the plane into the frigid sea was almost anticlimactic. Steve was frozen inside, his heart was numb. He couldn’t feel a whisper of Bucky, couldn’t feel anything except a hollowness that was eating him inside out.

Peggy was a good person. Peggy understood and wanted to help distract him but Steve only really wanted Bucky.

Still. He had a photo of Peggy and his memories of Bucky and when he took the plane down, when he sunk down deep, he saw himself and Bucky, again. His memory of Bucky was crystal clear, sharp and defined.

Bucky had turned to talk to him, the city lights highlighting his hair and his face. He’d smiled at Steve and Steve smiled back.

‘Til the end of the line, pal,’ Bucky said.

Steve nodded.

The cold was the next thing Steve felt and then, quiet and memories faded into black.

**

Steve woke up in a world where his loved ones were gone. When he’d gotten over the shock of being in the 21st century, he did some investigating.

Dr Montgomery, dead. Howard Stark, dead. Colonel Phillips, dead. Gabriel Jones, dead. Dum Dum, dead. Dernier, dead. Falsworth, dead. Jim Morita, alive yet ailing. Peggy Carter, alive yet living in the past from time to time. And Bucky, dead.

He’d looked up Bucky’s sisters and was relieved to find they were still alive. Their mother was dead, of course. She’d died only ten years earlier. Steve visited them, shocked and delighted them. They mourned Bucky, together. It helped to have them but they were old, as well.

Seventy years gone was a cheating bastard. Here he was, young and hale. And there was his generation, old and dying day by day.

Steve adjusted, slowly. He lived at Avengers Tower, made his peace with Howard’s son, went on missions for Nick Fury and SHIELD. He worked with Natasha Romanov, unsure of where her loyalties were but a valued co worker, nonetheless.

And then, his world tilted sideways again.

He should have known when he threw the shield like a disc, _Frisbee_ , at the partially masked man with the silver mechanical arm.

The man caught it with ease, threw it back like he knew just how it would fly, how it would glide through the air.

He should have known then but he was too astonished, too reactive to the situation.

He didn’t even check his inner self, didn’t even check to see if that thread was tugging at his heart, again. He’d assumed it was dead; he’d never looked inside.

And then, he stared at the man he thought was lost to him forever. His heart ached, the thread tugged hard at him, his inner self flooded with the presence of someone he’d lost and was now found.

‘Bucky?’

‘Who the hell is Bucky?’ asked Buc--, asked this stranger with Bucky’s face.

And Steve could only reply, ‘You’re James Buchanan Barnes. You’re my friend. You’re bonded to me. We bonded a long time ago.’

The man, Bucky, dammit, blinked.

‘Please… Buck… it’s me, it’s Steve… please...’ pleaded Steve, that inner chain stretched taut.

Bucky shook his head. ‘I’m not Bucky.’ And he turned and ran off, Steve staring after him.

**

After… after the fight, after Steve told Bucky he was with him until the end of the line, after another tumble into the water (why is it always water), Steve woke up to find Falcon sitting next to him.

‘Hey… on your left,’ whispered Steve, a small smile for the feisty Omega who stayed by his side through this whole hellish mess.

Sam Wilson only chuckled and gestured to the iStark playing music Steve liked. ‘Is that too loud, Cap?’

‘Nah. It’s good. I like that music,’ said Steve, drifting off to the sounds of the swing band playing.

When Steve was mostly healed, he and Sam packed up his important things and moved themselves to Sam’s house for a little while. Steve needed a safe place to think and heal. Sam wanted to give him that space.

‘Where do I even find him, Sam?’ asked Steve, wearily. He’d gone over the file that Natasha handed to him. The contents haunted his dreams at night.

‘He’ll come find you,’ said Sam, nodding with confidence.

‘How do you know?’ asked Steve.

‘Because of the bond. You still feel him now, right?’ asked Sam.

‘Yeah… yeah, I do. He’s still around, somewhere,’ admitted Steve.

‘I bet he feels you, too. And I bet he’s taking care of some personal business right now. I know I would be, if I figured out I’d been lied to and my bond mate had been kept from me,’ mused Sam.

Steve raised his eyebrows. ‘Bucky was never one to have a whole lot of patience with that.’

Sam took a leisurely sip of his coffee. ‘Then I wouldn’t be surprised if your phone lights up with news he’s cleaning house.’

In the weeks that followed, Sam’s prediction became correct. Natasha and Fury and Coulson light up Steve’s phone with text messages, email notifications, and calls. Bucky is apparently painting a bloody vindictive trail across North America, Europe, and Africa. He makes a few pit stops in the heart of China and down into India and then continues his merry way into the wilds of South America.

The new SHIELD can’t keep up. They arrive at a site to find Hydra agents murdered and the place burned to the ground. Bucky also takes a page from Natasha’s book; he uploads sensitive Hydra information to the internet.

Fury visits Steve in person and glares at nothing for several minutes. Sam offers him some tea and a few cookies.

Nick takes a sip of tea and bites into a cookie.

Steve waits, patiently, and sips at his tea.

‘You plan on getting a hold of your murdering bond mate and telling him to chill the fuck out?’ asked Nick.

‘If I knew how to contact him, I’d ask him to come back to me. It’s been over seventy years, now. That’s a long time to wait for a reunion,’ answered Steve, mildly.

Nick sighed. ‘Is he going to slow down anytime soon? We’ve been the mop up crew for the most part. He’s starting to leave us little gifts. Portable drives left out on computer desks. Maps and blueprints. It’s like the world’s largest cat bringing us what he thinks are useful things. Except that these are actually useful. How did the last mission go?’

Steve snorted. ‘As if you don’t already know but I’ll play along.’ Steve and Sam had gone on some missions to clean up the corrupt parts of Shield. Steve, sick at heart, had to arrest former colleagues and agents he’d worked with over the years. Sometimes, the arrests went without a hitch. Othertimes, he’d heard ‘Hail, Hydra!’ more than he cared to think about. And then the inevitable fire fight would begin.

Steve and Sam take turns, filling Nick in and Nick just grunts as they lay out the chain of events.

Nick gets up at the end of the conversation, thanking Sam for the tea and cookies. ‘Coulson might send someone familiar in a few days to check in. I’ll be in touch.’

He left and Steve and Sam looked at each other. ‘Who would that be?’ wondered Sam. Steve shrugged. He figured they’d find out.

A few days later, there was a knock at their door. When Sam opened up the door, he found a guy with a bow in one strong hand, running his other hand through his short blond hair.

‘Hey, is Steve there?’

‘Sure. Come on in,’ said Sam, stepping back.

Steve grinned when he saw the man and gave him a swift hug.

‘Aww, Steve, no. You’re crushing me!’ complained the man, still held against Steve’s chest.

Steve chuckled and let the now ruffled blond go. ‘Sam, this is Clint Barton. Clint, this is Sam Wilson. He’s a good one.’

‘Pleased to meet you,’ said Clint, taking in Sam with one, swift glance.

‘Pleasure’s mine,’ returned Sam, easily. ‘Would you like something to drink?’ Sam was beginning to think he should stock up on coffee, tea, and soda.

‘Yeah… that’d be great. Do you have any soda?’ asked Clint.

‘A Coke OK with you?’ asked Sam.

‘That’s awesome. Yeah, thanks,’ said Clint, catching the Coke can, easily.

‘What brings you here?’ asked Steve.

‘First, to say thanks a lot for the advance warning. I was in, uh, a sensitive area when Nat was able to ping me and tell me to get the hell out. Then she took me to some super secret place where I got to see my handler who isn’t dead, by the way. And then, she and I went skipping around the globe after your sweetie,’ grumbled Clint.

Steve flushed. ‘I’m sorry, Clint. I wish you’d been there. Could have used your sweet skills with the bow.’

Clint grinned, all grumpiness swept aside. ‘Yeah? It would have been somethin’. I wanna’ see Bird man, there, fire up those wings. You know Stark is dying to get his hands on them, right? He’s miffed he didn’t get first crack at the design.’

‘Tony has to wait. How’d things go with Bucky?’ asked Steve, anxiously.

‘He didn’t stay around long enough for us to have a heart to heart, Steve. He left behind some gifts, though. Nice of him to let us know where some Hydra bases were still active. And turns out the information on the big ol’ cloud didn’t hurt, either. I think some of the big wigs are kinda upset about it, though.’

Clint took another swallow of his Coke and gestured with his free hand. ‘See, they want it all hush hush and want to move in and do what they do best. But I think your guy has had it up to here with all that bullshit. He’s clearing the deck. Has he always been like that?’

Steve laughed ruefully. ‘Buck doesn’t have a whole lot of time for subtleties. He could be patient, don’t get me wrong. But he’d rather just do things. See the results first hand. I’m thinking anyone who gets in his way is going to have a very bad day.’

‘Yeah. So anyway, Coulson wanted me to check in, give you some info, and assure you that things are slowing down. Between the stuff we got from him and what he’s doing himself, the remnants of Hydra are slowly being taken apart,’ said Clint.

‘That’s good news. They live up to their name, that’s true enough,’ muttered Sam.

Clint shot him an appreciative look. ‘Cut off one head, another two grow in its place? Yeah. But kinda’ hard to grow heads when they’re being cut off as quick as they pop up. Bucky’s been doing a great job with that.’

‘I’d just like him to come home. He shouldn’t be out there, doing that,’ said Steve.

‘Look, Steve. I know you miss him and want him back but you gotta’ respect him and what he needs to do for himself. I know a little about what it feels like to have autonomy taken away,’ reminded Clint.

Steve slumped in his chair. ‘I know you’re right. It’s hard, though. I just want to see him. I want to tell him I’m sorry that I didn’t… that I didn’t look for him. I thought he was dead.’

Sam sighed. ‘Give it a try, man. I’ve been trying to get through to him that he can’t take responsibility for something that isn’t his to take. But, no. He’s too stubborn.’

Clint snorted. ‘I know it. Look, Cap… just once, can you dial down the Tragic Hero bit? When Bucky comes back because I know he _will_ come back to you, he’s going to have no time for that business. You didn’t cause it to happen. Stop blaming yourself.’

‘I… but...’ Steve stammers.

‘No. Stop it. I know something about blame, too. I wasn’t to blame for Loki. I wasn’t to blame for Coulson or anyone else who died during that whole sorry business. I know that, now. And when I finally understood the person responsible wasn’t _me_ , it helped a lot. Same for you. It wasn’t your fault,’ said Clint, his eyes steady on Steve’s.

‘You’re a pushy Beta,’ muttered Steve, a sheepish grin on his face.

‘Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that before. So you hear what I’m sayin’? When Bucky comes back to you, just dry up about that whole business. He doesn’t need to hear it. He needs you. He needs to be safe. He needs to reconnect. Nothin’ else matters,’ said Clint, bluntly.

‘I like him,’ said Sam. ‘You, Clint, are welcome to come by anytime and kick Steve’s ass. All the Coke you want.’

Clint laughed. ‘I just might take you up on that offer.’

‘Thanks, Clint. Can you stay around for dinner?’ asked Steve.

‘I think I can manage that. You guys have a couch available? I might even be persuaded to stay around an extra couple of days,’ said Clint.

‘It’s a fold out couch, even. You can sleep in style,’ invited Sam, his eyes glinting with humor.

Clint smiled at Sam, his gaze catching and holding. ‘I like that. I think you can persuade me.’

Clint ended up hanging around for four more days, and Steve had to admit they were the most relaxing days he’d had since he knew when. Clint loved to eat and loved to sing. So did Sam. Clint could cook up a few great meals. Sam knew his way around a kitchen as well. Steve was treated to some great homemade cooking as a result. He wasn’t complaining.

They went for jogs and on one memorable afternoon, Clint took them out to an archery range where he shamed them both. Clint laughed for days at the look on their faces when he challenged them to a distance match.

Steve wasn’t surprised to get up early one morning and find the couch absent. He’d seen the looks Clint and Sam had exchanged the past couple of days. Last night, he watched with amusement as they flirted with each other shamelessly.

Steve sat at the breakfast bar and drank his coffee. He’d made a pot for everyone and was thinking about getting up and making breakfast when Sam’s door opened.

Clint walked out with a grin on his face. He nodded at Steve and went to the cupboard to get down two coffee cups. He poured coffee in them and then joined Steve at the breakfast bar. After a few minutes, Sam came out of the bedroom and sat down next to Clint. He took a long sip of his coffee.

Steve watched as Clint and Sam smiled at each other, a soft smile that lit up their faces. He ignored the wistful ache inside that had Bucky’s name attached to it. ‘You guys look pretty happy. I’m happy for you both.’

‘Awww, don’t start picking out china patterns or anything,’ protested Clint. He grinned, though. ‘It’s a good start.’

‘It’s a _great_ start,’ corrected Sam, leaning in and kissing Clint on the cheek.

Steve chuckled and got up to get a cereal bowl down from the cupboard and cereal from the lazy Susan. He opened up the fridge, got the milk out, and fixed himself some breakfast. Behind him, he could hear Sam and Clint talking about the day to come.

‘I’ve got to get to work this morning. Clint’s got to get back to Coulson and report in. I think a visit to Stark is also on the docket. Clint works for both of them,’ said Sam.

Steve walked back over to the breakfast bar and sat down again.

‘Ok. Say hi to Coulson and Stark for me. I’ll be here for the next few days. Got some down time right now,’ said Steve.

‘All right. I’ll give you a text when I’m in town again. It might be a couple of weeks or so. My schedule is hard to pin down right now,’ warned Clint.

‘Just be careful,’ said Steve. ‘There’s still some Hydra agents out there.’

‘Then I better bring them in, don’t you think? I’ll catch you around,’ said Clint. He looked at Sam. ‘Wanna’ take a shower with me? I’m not sure when I’ll be able to swing by again.’

‘That’d be great. And that’s fine. You’re always welcome to stop on by,’ said Sam, getting up with Clint.

Steve sighed quietly to himself when they’d left the room. He was happy for them but oh, he missed Bucky so much.

**

A couple more weeks passed by. Steve and Sam went out on a mission with Clint and Natasha. If it weren’t for the part where they took down a huge Hydra installation and rescued some scientists and ended up in a firefight that took all their ingenuity to get out of, it was fun. Fun in that Clint and Sam were obviously a couple and Natasha took great delight in this. Even more fun (at least to them) was the morning Steve walked in on Clint, Sam, and Natasha in bed.

‘Uh… sorry,’ muttered Steve, flushing dark red.

‘I’d ask you to join us, Cap, but we know you’re waiting for one man,’ said Natasha, her voice a satisfied purr. She was nestled in between Sam and Clint and looked happy.

‘Yeah… not that you guys aren’t… tempting or anything but...’ Steve stammered his way to silence, still flushed.

‘Cap… you’re welcome to join us. If you ever want just a cuddle. It’s hard being alone and for you...’ Clint stopped, paused, and continued. ‘I wouldn’t judge you at all for being human.’

Steve smiled and Clint thought it was the most heartbreaking smile he’d ever seen. ‘Ah, I appreciate that. But you know, I missed one dance and… I don’t want to have to explain anything to Bucky. I’m gonna’ have to pass but thank you, guys. I appreciate it.’

Sam nodded. ‘Man better show up, soon. I normally don’t tangle with dangerous assassins with a metal arm but I’m willing to make an exception, here. Boy’s got some talking he’s gonna’ listen to.’

Steve grinned. ‘I’ll be happy to see that. All right, then. Mission done, we got what we needed. Should we head out in about an hour?’

‘Sure, Cap. We’ll meet you in the lobby, then,’ answered Sam.

Steve nodded his head and closed the bedroom door.

Sam sighed and looked at Natasha and Clint who had similar expressions on their faces. ‘I hope he gets tired of wandering. Steve’s falling apart and it’s agony to see it.’

Clint nodded his head. ‘I haven’t heard of any recent activity. I think he’s gone to ground. Maybe figuring out his next move. Maybe he’s getting ready to call it.’

‘We can only hope,’ said Natasha. She stretched and slid out of bed. ‘Shall we take a shower, gentlemen?’

Clint and Sam nodded as one.


	10. Now and Always...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes back.
> 
> Life comes full circle.
> 
> All is well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this fic!
> 
> I really hope you've enjoyed it... and enjoyed the A/B/O universe I created.
> 
> Thanks so much again to the mods for this fest. It was great fun to take part and write for AngeNoir.

It’d been a year and a half since the incident on the Helicarrier. Shield was being rebuilt by a grimly efficient Coulson. Fury was still wandering the globe, putting out small fires here and there. Clint and Natasha were back at Shield, working for Coulson. Sam was busy at his job at the Veteran’s Hospital. 

Steve was at loose ends. He spent time between Sam’s house and the Avenger’s Tower. There were things he did with the Avengers and when he wasn’t doing those things, he was at Sam’s house. 

Today, there had been enough leaves that Steve spent some time raking the back yard and the small front yard. Then, he raked the neighbor’s small front yard as well. The exercise felt good. He came into the house, stamping his feet and rubbing his hands together.

‘Sam? Sam, you home?’ he asked, hearing noise in the other room.

‘Yeah… you need to come into the kitchen,’ said Sam, his voice strained.

Steve walked quickly into the kitchen, his shield ready. He’d left it in front of the steps when he was raking and had brought it inside with him, setting it against the couch while he took his shoes and coat off.

Sam was sitting at the table, looking as relaxed as he could. Sitting opposite Sam was Bucky.

Steve blinked, restrained his initial impulse to rush forward and hold Bucky tight. He cleared his throat instead and said, ‘Hey. You want something to drink?’

Bucky smiled slightly. ‘I wouldn’t mind a soda.’

‘OK. Sam?’ asked Steve. Sam hadn’t taken his eyes off of Bucky, perhaps for fear he’d disappear.

‘I’ll take a soda. Thanks, Steve,’ answered Sam.

Steve got three sodas out of the fridge and sat down at the table with Sam and Bucky. He handed one to Sam and one to Bucky and opened one for himself.

‘Glad to see you’re sitting here with us,’ said Sam. ‘It was a little bit of a surprise to walk in and see you on my couch. Thank you for putting your gun down when you realized it was me.’

Bucky nodded. ‘Sorry. Couldn’t take the risk it might not be. You’re the flying man.’

‘Yeah, that’s me. I’m the one with the wings. Well, used to be with the wings. They’re currently with someone else who’s fixing them,’ said Sam. Tony Stark had been thrilled to receive them. He’d taken Sam’s measurements and told them he’d get back to them when he had a new, better, Stark improved pair ready. 

‘Sorry about that.’ Bucky looked embarrassed. ‘I hope you can fly again, soon.’

‘Soon enough,’ said Sam, his tone easy and Steve could have kissed him for it.

Bucky nodded and took another sip of his soda. Steve exchanged glances with Sam and they both leaned back, trying to look at ease.

‘You’ve been kind of busy, going from place to place,’ began Steve.

Bucky gave him a thin smile. ‘I had some business to take care of. It’s enough to make a fella’ upset, discovering they’ve been someone else’s mook for a long time.’

‘I figured. Did you do what you needed to do?’ asked Steve, desperately trying to sound casual.

‘I did enough. I hear Shield is rebuilding. You think their new director wants to send me a fruit basket or something for helping out?’ asked Bucky.

Steve laughed. ‘I honestly think he doesn’t know whether to shake your hand or knock your lights out for what you’ve done. You made things easy and difficult at the same time.’

‘Yeah, I might have. Did they get the info I left?’ asked Bucky.

‘Yeah. Fury said it was like a cat leaving behind presents. Bloody presents sometimes but what cat doesn’t do that?’ asked Steve.

‘That man. He was dead but now he’s not?’ asked Bucky.

‘He should have been dead. Fury has a lot of enemies. He made contingency plans. I thought he’d really died until I found out he hadn’t. I was just as shocked as you were. You did your job, whatever that was, Buck. He just planned for something like that to happen to him,’ explained Steve.

‘Ah. That makes sense. OK. I thought… I thought I failed the mission. I had a few bad days, there,’ whispered Bucky, his eyes cast downward.

‘You did what you were told to do, Buck. You always were a crack shot,’ said Steve.

Bucky glanced up at Steve and a small smile flickered over his mouth. ‘I always had to watch your left side.’

‘Yeah, you did. Even now, I get wounded there because I forget to cover it. I think Clint and Sam have an idea because when we go out on missions, they’re usually on my left,’ said Steve.

Sam barked laughter. ‘For a change,’ he said, grinning at Steve who chuckled.

Bucky glanced from one to the other. ‘You guys live together?’

Steve didn’t bother to pretend he didn’t know where Bucky was going with that. ‘We live as roommates, Buck. I’ve only bonded with one person and I’ve only wanted one person my entire life. That hasn’t changed.’

‘OK,’ said Bucky. He gave Sam an assessing look. ‘I could take him, you know.’

‘I’m well aware of that,’ interrupted Sam. ‘One to one with you isn’t even on my list of things to do in my life. Ever. And I do love Steve. Like a brother. He’s a hell of a guy. But I have no interest in getting between you two. Sides, I got my own people.’

Bucky raised his eyebrows. ‘’People?’’ he repeated.

‘Yeah. Clint and Natasha. Whom you might or might not know,’ added Sam.

‘Natasha… I… yes.’ And here Bucky glanced at Steve and seemed to shrink inwards.

‘Is this a conversation we should be having with her as well?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah… it might be good. You think they would come over for a visit?’ asked Bucky.

‘I think they’d be thrilled they don’t have to follow you around the globe, playing catch up crew. That is, if you’re done going around the globe,’ answered Sam.

‘Uh… yeah. I’m done. I need...’ Bucky paused. ‘I need to get my life back. I need to… I need to figure out who I am and what I want.’

‘Bucky… do you want us? Do you want me?’ asked Steve, his bright blue eyes focused on Bucky’s dark blue ones.

‘I...’ Bucky seemed to flounder. ‘I think so but it’s been so long. I remember most everything about us, Steve. I want that again. I want… I want _us_. But I want me, too. I want to be who I am, on my own terms.’

Steve nodded. ‘Yeah. Gotta’ define yourself, Buck. I’m not the one to do it. Our past isn’t the one to do it. I’m here for you, though. Whatever you need or want… just let me know.’

‘Right now, I need to be around you. I need to remember what it felt like to be with you. If that’s OK with you, Sam?’ asked Bucky.

‘That’s why there’s two bedrooms,’ said Sam, his manner welcoming and calm. ‘Steve has one, I have the other. If you are comfortable staying with him, that’s solved. If not, we’ll figure something out.’

‘You got a good friend there, punk,’ commented Bucky to Steve after giving Sam a warm smile.

‘I think the Howling Commandos would have adopted him, what do you think?’ asked Steve.

Bucky glanced at Sam again. ‘Yeah. I think Dernier would have loved him. Gabriel and Jim would have tried to induct him into their little wise acre’s club. He’d fit right in.’

‘From what I know of the Howling Commandos and what Steve’s told me, I’m truly honoured,’ commented Sam. He took a swig of soda. 

Bucky drank some more of his and then burped. He turned unexpectedly pink. ‘Sorry!’ he muttered.

Steve snickered. Sam smiled. Bucky glanced at them both and cracked a reluctant grin.

‘Someone around here has to have manners,’ he said.

**

Slowly, Bucky became part of the daily routines of Steve and Sam. He sometimes went with Sam to the Veteran’s Hospital. There, he helped set up for the support groups and sat in them, sometimes. Other times, he helped Sam decipher the paperwork he received and wrote emails to the right people for help.

One glorious, heartbreaking day, Steve and Bucky went to visit his sisters. Josephine held onto him and wouldn’t let go. Elizabeth kept a tissue nearby and dabbed at her eyes every so often. Rebecca sat rapt, staring at Bucky and not saying a word. 

‘Bucky… you’ll come back and visit soon?’ asked Rebecca at the end of the visit. She clung to Bucky’s hand. Josephine had held onto his shirt and Bucky had encircled his arm around his younger sister.

‘I’m thinking I’d like to move you guys down to where Steve and I live. I want to be able to see you as often as I like. Would you like that?’ asked Bucky.

Bucky’s sisters were close and they all lived in an assisted living home in Queens.

‘We might actually move up here,’ interrupted Steve with an apologetic look on his face.

Bucky raised his eyebrows. ‘Since when did this happen?’ 

‘Since I talked to Tony and he invited us to move into the Avengers Tower. Seems after the recent events with Shield and all, he’s getting protective. Plus there’s some other stuff going on. I’ve been talking about it with Sam, seeing what he thinks. Sam’s invited as well. And it’d be easier, seeing as your sisters live nearby,’ added Steve.

‘Well, that’s true,’ said Bucky. ‘As long as Sam’s OK with things, then I’ll go wherever you both go. And I’d get to see my sisters more often. We have a lot of catching up to do.’

‘It’s your decision, Bucky. But know we’d love to have you nearby,’ said Elizabeth. ‘We have so much to share with you. And, you know, there are our children. You’re an uncle, after all.’

‘And a great-uncle,’ added Josephine, mischievously. She giggled at the pole-axed expression on her brother’s face. ‘That’s what happens after seventy years. You get more relatives.’

‘I’m smelling a reunion, aren’t I?’ sighed Bucky but smiling indulgently. 

‘Maybe,’ put in Rebecca, coyly. ‘When you’re ready. The family would love to meet you but we know you need to get used to things. Heaven knows we’re still getting used to our big brother being around. It was amazing to have Steve back with us.’

‘And look at the two of you,’ sighed Elizabeth. ‘Both so young and handsome. You two ever going to make it official?’

‘What?’ asked Bucky, a puzzled look on his face.

‘New York has legalized same sex marriage. You two can get married, now. Pay the marriage tax like the rest of us. All that boring stuff,’ answered Elizabeth.

‘Uh...’ Bucky was at a loss.

‘Let’s take it one step at a time, here,’ put in Steve. ‘Bucky and Sam and I gotta talk about moving up here and when. We got to decide what to do with Sam’s house. And then we’ll go from there.’

The ladies nodded their agreement.

‘Steve, you always did make sense,’ said Josephine. ‘We have time. Maybe not as much as we did but we’re lucky to have each other, now. Everything else is just gravy.’

Steve bent over and kissed Josephine on the cheek and also Elizabeth and Rebecca. They all smiled and let go of Bucky so they could give him a hug.

Bucky sat back and watched, a faint smile on his face, as his sisters flocked around Steve. He met Steve’s eyes and felt that tug between them, again. 

** 

Six months later, Sam, Steve, and Bucky had moved into the Avengers Tower. They grew used to living with a demi-god, a brilliant scientist with an alter ego, a sassy archer, and a former assassin. Tony Stark was another matter, entirely.

Tony welcomed them to the Tower and then proceeded to sweep Sam and Bucky up in his technological experiments. Sam had new wings that left his poor trashed ones in the dust. Tony helped make Bucky’s metal arm easier to bear. He disabled unnecessary equipment and added new ones at Bucky’s request. If Steve wanted to find Bucky at odd hours of the morning, he often just had to go to Tony’s workshop. There, Tony and Bucky would be there, working on some new design.

Steve wasn’t worried about Tony. He had been bonded to Rhodey since their college days together. Steve wasn’t really worried about Bucky, either. It just was… as Clint put it, hard to be the odd man out. 

Still, Bucky had made overtures. He’d taken to sleeping next to Steve, curled up like a kitten. He also would make breakfast for the two of them. Every now and then, he’d lean forward and kiss Steve, lightly, on the lips.

Steve told himself patience was a good thing. And he was glad to see Bucky rediscovering more of who he is now versus who he used to be. 

The inner chain that connected him to Bucky was stronger than ever. Steve could feel the link every moment and he wondered if Bucky could feel it as well.

Tonight, the Tower was quiet. Tony was out with Rhodey. Natasha, Sam, and Clint had gone out on a date. Thor was off planet at the moment. That left Steve and Bucky at loose ends.

‘Hey, Buck… wanna go out for a walk?’ asked Steve.

Bucky glanced up from the book he was reading. ‘Yeah, that’d be nice. It’s kinda’ different having the place to ourselves.’

‘Everyone else is busy doing something. I thought it’d be nice if we could go out on a date,’ said Steve, deciding to be blunt.

‘We haven’t been on a date since that one time...’ said Bucky, his voice soft.

‘Yeah. Remember? Dernier thought we needed a ‘couple’s night’ so he and Falsworth and Dum Dum dragged us to the bar. And left us there,’ remembered Steve, laughing.

‘I thought you were going to wring their necks. But it was nice sitting there for a while, wasn’t it?’ asked Bucky, smiling at Steve.

‘Yeah. It was. Do you wanna’ catch a movie? Go out for a drink afterwards?’ asked Steve.

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Are you gonna’ promise me you won’t complain about the prices? I know things were different back then but that was _seventy_ odd years ago, Steve. Inflation and all.’

Steve grumbled, ‘OK. It really is outrageous, the price for popcorn and a drink at a bar...’

‘Shut your trap, punk. Let’s go out and have a good time. I wanna’ see that movie with those space aliens in it,’ said Bucky.

‘That’s just so you can make fun of it. We’re supposed to enjoy the movie. Not pick it apart,’ reminded Steve.

Bucky grumbled but got his jacket and he walked out with Steve into the crisp December air.

‘Are we joining your sisters for Christmas this year?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah. I think they have plans to invite just the immediate family. That’s still around thirty or so people,’ groused Bucky. His sisters had all been married. Their husbands were dead but they had children and their children had children. Elizabeth had three children and five grandchildren. Rebecca had four children and six grandchildren. Josephine, not to be outdone, had five children and counted eight grandchildren. 

‘I take it they rented out the community room or something,’ said Steve.

‘Yeah. Reserved it six months in advance. They’re going to cater in a big meal and everything. We gotta’ go Christmas shopping. Steve… what the hell am I going to get all these people?’ asked Bucky.

‘I’m thinking gift cards are the answer. A lot of people like those, these days. We could pick some up at Target for everyone we don’t know that well. We can go shopping for more personal gifts for your sisters,’ suggested Steve.

Bucky nodded, relieved. He’d grabbed Steve’s arm and hadn’t let go. ‘That’s a swell idea. Maybe next week, we could go to some of those fancy stores.’

Steve said, ‘I’d like that.’ He moved his hand so he could twine his fingers with Bucky’s. Bucky made a soft sound of approval and leaned into him as they walked along.

The movie was fun. The prices were still mind boggling but Steve, keeping in mind his promise to Bucky, said not a word as he paid for popcorn and soda. Bucky, keeping his end of the deal, muttered a couple of times but kept his comments mostly to himself.

‘That was fun, Stevie. We have to go out on a date more often,’ said Bucky, smiling at Steve.

‘Yeah? We could do that. Maybe go out to eat, drive up north to the country… could stay in one of those swanky hotels or something. What do you think?’ asked Steve.

Bucky paused before speaking. ‘I think I want to buy us one of those fancy beds we’ve always talked about. I figured we have enough money between the two of us. We can afford it, right?’

Steve laughed. ‘Yeah… we can afford a fancy bed. Something like we always talked about.’

Bucky smiled and then he looked at Steve intently. ‘Steve… are you going into heat?’

‘I… well, yeah. Soon. Do you smell something?’ asked Steve. He was suppressing his scent around Bucky as much as possible. He didn’t want to pressure Bucky to do something he wasn’t ready to do. Although Steve desperately wanted Bucky to do whatever he wanted to do. He wanted Bucky’s Alpha to respond to his Omega side.

‘Some. You’re suppressing, aren’t you?’ asked Bucky, his tone more a statement than a question.

‘Yeah. I don’t...’ Steve looked down and then met Bucky’s eyes. ‘I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready to do, Buck. I meant it when I said I’d support you. However long it would take for you to feel comfortable.’

Bucky smiled, a wicked smile that made Steve’s eyes light up. ‘I’m feeling pretty comfortable right now,’ he purred, crowding into Steve’s personal space.

Steve swallowed and then slowly, gently, cupped Bucky’s face with his hands. He paused, looked into Bucky’s eyes, and then kissed him, pressing himself against Bucky’s body.

Bucky made a noise that might have been a moan and a sigh combined. He kissed Steve back, opening his mouth and inviting Steve to deepen the kiss.

Steve didn’t need any further encouragement. He kissed Bucky with all the longing and love he’d felt ever since he first lost Bucky. He loosened his control and could feel Bucky tremble as the familiar scent of ink, paper, pancakes, milk, and copper swirled around them. Steve’s Alpha scent strengthened his Omega scent. Bucky clung to Steve as his own Alpha behavior flared.

‘Should we… should we head back to the Tower?’ asked Steve, drawing back and licking his lips.

Bucky gazed at him, his dark blue eyes gleaming. ‘Unless you want me to bend you over and fuck you right here, it might be wise.’

Steve shivered. ‘Yeah. Back to the Tower. Let’s… let’s go,’ he said, tugging at Bucky’s hand.

They managed to make it back in under five minutes. Steve wasn’t sure if Bucky was pulling him or if he was pulling Bucky along. It didn’t matter. They kissed each other on the elevator and stumbled down the hall to their bedroom.

As soon as they got to their bedroom, Bucky slammed Steve against the wall, tangling his hands in Steve’s hair and kissing him fiercely. Steve kissed back, pulling Bucky close, his hands dragging at Bucky’s hips.

‘Are you sure, Buck?’ asked Steve, panting but holding onto his control with all his willpower.

‘Less talking. More action,’ grunted Bucky, unbuttoning Steve’s shirt with shaking fingers.

‘Ok, then,’ said Steve, returning the favour, his hands slightly more steady.

Bucky gazed at the bonding mark on Steve’s upper shoulder, then bent forward and kissed it, his mouth open and hot.

Steve groaned as Bucky licked the scar, nipped kisses along his neck, and left marks on his collarbone with his teeth and lips.

Steve took a deep breath and then let the last of his control over his scent lift. Bucky immediately ground his hips against Steve’s as the scent hit them both. Steve bent down and mouthed at Bucky’s bonding mark, sucking on it and enjoying the way Bucky writhed against him.

When Steve hit the bed, clothes stripped away and his hands clutching at a warm, writhing, naked Bucky, his mind was blank. He was all sensation and he lost himself in the touch, scent, and sight of Bucky. 

Bucky took his time, touching Steve all over, first with his fingers and then his mouth. He lapped at the fluid that was leaking from Steve’s opening and left bruises on Steve’s hips as he held Steve down.

‘Stevie… do you have a condom?’ asked Bucky, pausing.

‘I… no,’ said Steve, turning pink. He didn’t prepare for this possibility because he didn’t think it would happen so soon. Or maybe he thought it never would and he would have been OK with that. He just wanted to have Bucky there. 

Bucky sat back, ran his fingers through his long hair. ‘Do you… do you want to use one?’

Steve took a deep breath, thought that this was like jumping out of a plane with just his shield and said, ‘No. I… I don’t.’

‘What are you saying, Stevie?’ whispered Bucky.

‘I’m saying that if I got pregnant, I’d be OK with it. I’m saying that you’re the only one for me. You always were, always have been, and always will be. Buck… we don’t have to but if I did get pregnant, would you mind?’ asked Steve.

Tears welled up in Bucky’s eyes. Tears that he didn’t hide. ‘I never thought we’d ever get this chance, Stevie. Never thought I’d be here with you… talking about this. I… yeah. I want this. I’m a selfish bastard but I want you and I want a baby and I want _us_. I’ve paid my dues. I want our family, Stevie.’

‘OK, then. C’mere,’ coaxed Steve and he held Bucky next to him, whispering words of encouragement. He stroked his hands down Bucky’s back and could feel the trembling subside.

Bucky raised his head after a few minutes and grinned. ‘If the Howling Commandos could see us, now.’

Steve groaned. ‘I’d rather they didn’t. And thanks for spoiling this, you mook.’

Bucky merely laughed and raised his hips then smoothly slid in, knotting deep inside Steve before Steve realized what had happened.

‘Oh… that feels pretty damn good,’ Steve muttered, cradling Bucky in his arms.

‘Sure does… always has felt good,’ murmured Bucky. He kissed Steve, a long, lingering kiss that had them both panting at the end.

Bucky rose with his arms on either side of Steve and began to move, claiming Steve’s lips between thrusts. His dark hair hung down to curtain them both and his Alpha musk mingled with Steve’s Omega scent. 

‘I’m gonna’ keep this up until you can’t stand it, Stevie… gonna’ see you get all big with our baby… gonna’ hold our baby when it’s time...’ murmured Bucky. 

Steve could feel the knot inside of him, could feel Bucky get closer and closer to coming. He shut his eyes and pulled Bucky against him, feeling his heart thud. He could feel the inner chain that linked him and Bucky tighten, could feel himself and Bucky being wrapped in it.

Steve held on tight, feeling the future shift and change. He was ready.

**

There were three photos up on Steve and Bucky’s mantle, over the fireplace. There were photos elsewhere in their home. Photos of them with the Howling Commandos. Photos of them with Peggy then and now. Photos of them with Bucky’s sisters and the extended family.

But these photos held a place of honour and everyone who came to visit were drawn to them.

The first photo was an old, worn one. Steve and Bucky were standing side by side, their uniforms crisp and clean. They had their arms slung around each other and were smiling at the camera. 

The second photo was one taken by Clint after a mission. Steve and Bucky were sitting next to each other, propping each other up. Steve had his Captain America uniform on, his shield leaning against his leg. Bucky’s metal arm glinted and the new insignia caught the eye. The red star inside a blue circle was very much like the shield. Steve had his arm around Bucky and Bucky had his eyes closed. Steve had pressed a kiss to the top of Bucky’s head and that was when Clint had surreptitiously snapped the photo. 

The last photo, the one everyone cooed over, was the one Steve and Bucky loved the most. They were in the hospital, Steve sitting up, surrounded by pillows. Bucky was sitting next to him, his arm around Steve. He had the biggest, brightest smile anyone had ever seen and was looking down at Steve’s arms. Steve was holding their baby, wrapped in a dark purple hand made blanket. The baby was hours old and Sam had taken the photo at Bucky’s request.

Clint had supplied the hand knit blanket. ‘Of course it’s purple,’ he told them as they wrapped their baby in it. He’d smiled when he held the infant, cradling the baby carefully in his strong arms.

Steve said that these photos represented him and Bucky in their entirety. Bucky agreed. It was plain for anyone to see. The before, the now, and the always. 


End file.
